My ex-girlfriend's getting engaged...

Please. I've Turned Up the Radio many a time ...

 

I enjoy Goldfinger's "Fuck You And Your Cat."

"The pictures in my head of what could never be
You cut me off, you let me down, you lied to me
I take you out, I rub you down, I sell you shoes
So fuck your trust, your perfume and your mother, too

Where's my T-Shirt?
Where's my money?
Fuck you and your cat"

That's really all I ever need.

 

Game. Set. Match.

It all depends on how you wish to take this, GBNF. I could have been pissed off about The One That Got Away. But there was no point ... I'm a loner, she's a more social sort, she wanted more of a family-type guy. We were really good friends, and she still e-mails a couple of times a year and did a couple of more when I told her about the last few months.

She's married with three kids now. I couldn't be happier for her. I was an idiot, and I can only hope I learned something. Maybe ... :-\

Time heals many wounds, GBNF, and I suspect this case is no exception.

 

Oh yeah?

 

Guess I don't have to see this movie now. Thanks, Luggy.

 

OK, so YOU broke up with her 2.5 years ago and now you're moping around and want our sympathy because, I guess, you lost some fallback plan that you figured would be waiting around forever just in case you should happen to change your mind? Sorry, but my sympathy can be put to much better use than that.

 

I've actually been on both ends of this.

First girl I ever fell hard for and I dated for two years. Junior year of college, she took a sledgehammer to my heart, then drove over the pieces with a lawnmower. We broke up, she wanted to get back together, and I couldn't say no. We broke up again, she swore it would be different if we gave it another shot, it wasn't, and I mercy killed the relationship with what tiny flecks of pride I had left. Three months later, she was engaged to someone else. By chance, I ran into her at a softball tournament 200 miles from home that I was covering (as a part of an internship) for a tiny, shitty newspaper a few months before her wedding. I lied told her I was really happy for her, her face lit up with joy, and I went home (after filing a story) and drank about 15 beers. By myself.

I still have dreams about her on occasion. It's weird. I don't have feelings for her, but there is obviously something about her that refuses to leave my subconscious. Heard from friends she got a doctorate in clinical psychology and now works at a university. Hope she's using it to keep her crazy ass sane.

On the flip side, I dated another girl for three years, and loved her very much, and stayed in touch after we mutually agreed to break it off because I had moved to the other side of the country and the long-distance thing wasn't working. We stayed friends, exchanging emails and occasional phone calls. We didn't talk much about the fact that we were both seeing other people. I didn't tell her when I got engaged or when I got married. Just assumed she'd hear about it through our mutual college friends. But she didn't. I was feeling guilty about it, so one weekend when the wife was out of town, I called the ex and we talked for a few hours. I told her I was married and that, though I loved my wife very much, our time in college together would always mean a lot to me.

She wrote me a long email the next day confessing that she had cried a little bit when the conversation ended, but that it meant a lot to talk to me again and that she would always feel good about our time together. We exchange emails on birthdays and holidays still and if she invited me to her wedding someday, I probably wouldn't go, but I might send her a gift. She was, and is, good people.

Oddly, both of them live in Portland, Oregon. Here is hoping the cool one spills her $7 soy latte on the crazy one some random afternoon in Powell's Books.

 

Great post, and I thank everyone who wasn't a royal prick for the responses. Apparently, I'm a huge pussy. Never really thought so, but I guess I am.

So do I, though not as often as used to.

I broke up with her because I wanted to pursue journalism as a career and knew I'd have to leave SoCal, and she never wanted to leave her family. We never had a big break-up fight. In fact, when we said goodbye, we kissed and said I love you. So part of this regret has to do witth the fact that while it was a good reason to break up, it wasn't because we stopped loving each other.

She was my first, and there's been a few since, but obviously can't be compared. I was part of her family and she was part of mine, , and I guess that's the hardest part, in hindsight — for someone without a huge family, it sure as shit meant a lot...

And I'm not looking for sympathy, IU, you jaded old asshole, but this is a board where we share experiences and advice. Get off your damn high horse.

 

Weak.

 

For the record, GBNF, I never thought you were looking for sympathy. Most people have the one who got away that they wonder about for the rest of their lives. Not because they can't move on, but just because they can see how different their lives could have been.

 

I'm proud to say that the last three girlfriends I had before I met my wife are currently not married!

(I guess this the kind of post you're supposed to have in this thread, right???)