My Colon

Jones,

Wouldn't now be a good time to take an airplane ride?

 

I can only give you this advice and hope you have some on hand, because from the sound of it, you'll need it soon. If not, send Mrs. Jones on a run (sorry).
Charmin with lotion and Aloe Vera.

And Pastor, White Castle is to a colonscopy what an oil change in to rebuilding the engine. Both are beneficial, but one is a quick fix. The other is a colonoscopy.

 

Well, that was horrifying.

But I think I found the Lego man -- a sailor -- I swallowed when I was eight.

Unfortunately, he was missing his hat.

 

Not dissimilar.

 

I should post the pics I have of my colon. It wouldn't quite be Flash flashing everyone, but it'd be something.

 

I know a synagogue, Jonesy...

 

The prep is bad, yes.

You won't know real fear, though, until your gastroentorologist holds aloft the business end of his 10,000 candlepower, 2.4, 10x variable zoom 19 - 108 wide-angle sigmoido steadicam and says to you, just as the drugs take hold,

"Say hello to my little friend."

 

Mix of solid and liquid or straight liquid? The mix is just disturbing. Makes you think you're passing your spleen or something.

 

All I know is, I need to be held.

 

Who was your doctor, the Nazi from Marathon Man?

 

You'll know it's true love and truly meant to be if your wife comes anywhere near you right now.