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my chanukah party....

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by shockey, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    as i've noted previously, my family invades today for the second time since thanksgiving. mrs. shockey gets very, stressed over hosting these deals. my parents and other relatives are bringing virtually everything, from the jewish deli, wine, HUGE paper goods, desserts, etc.

    my folks are incredibly helpful. but also a HUGE pain in the butt. we told EVERYONE to be here at 4. mrs. shockey, with her plate overloaded loaded with getting our three sons to various games, bar mitvahs and such, and with little to no cooperation from our three idiot sons -- i'm disabled and useless -- is a cleaning demon up to kickoff. that's her craziness, but that's how it is. much yelling and screaming at the boys ensues, right up until kickoff.

    so what do my folks do? arrive at 3:05 to "help set up." we never asked for help. your invited at 4, show up at 4, dammit.

    father of shockey: "could you send the boys out to help us bring in the stuff?"

    me: "what the eff are you doing here? i told you 4!!"

    father: "your mother wanted to help set up."

    me: "eff that! get lost until 4!!"

    father: "well, send out the boys to at least get the stuff."


    mrs. shockey to me: "you couldn't tell me they were coming early?"

    me: "i didn't effin' know!!"


    and i loooove the holidays. really, i do. but what are my parents thinking? this is all i'm going to hear about after everyone's gone.
  2. Do we have Crossed Challahs Of Death a'bornin' here?
  3. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    i'm now in the jewish equivalent mode of "bah, humbug." i have the eye of the jew.

    now mrs. shockey's reprimanding me for telling my folks to get lost until 4. she says she could actually use their help. my dad, of course, cannot be reached to come back -- he NEVER has his cell phone on! he only puts it on when he needs to make a call. AARRGGHH!!

    mrs. shockey: "i hope you weren't mean to them."

    me: "i don't think i was too bad."

    "what exactly did you say to them?"

    "i don't remember. something like, WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU DOING HERE? ask them when they get here."
  4. I didn't realize that the F-bomb, spoken loudly, was a Hanukkah tradition.
    I like this holiday more and more.
  5. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Then you must not have been within 5 miles of the Songbird home in the LBC in the 80s.
  6. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    chanukah is like any other family-gathering holiday. eff bombs rule the day!! ;D ;D ;D

    mrs. shockey is now delighting in telling the boys that "your father spoke meanly to your grandparents." :eek: :eek: :eek:

    bring on the potatoe latkas and kasha varnishkas!

    mrs. shockey, as she cleans up the downstairs bathroom yet again: "i hope you didn't upset them."
  7. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    I'll take 42 dozen latkes, please, shockey.
  8. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    How I would love to contribute to this, but we are in the midst of LinZee's bat mitzvah day AND Hanukkah. So I send a shechianu (sp?) and a latke to my dear MOT shockey and his family, and ask him to repeat once again the story of how his family says goodbye and then takes an hour to leave. Makes me laugh every time.
  9. Giggity

    Giggity Member

    O.J. Simpson: Not a jew.
  10. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Shehechiyanu, Vekiyimonu, Vehegionu, Laz-man Ha-zeh.

    Brings a smile to my face.
  11. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    21, my dear. i'll be happy to give a play-by-play after tonight's departure. in the meantime, mrs. shockey fears i scared off my folks. they're now seven minutes late after being 55 minutes early!! :eek:

    i. can't. win.

    p.s.: the 'rents returned at 4:10 -- fresh off a visit to dunkin' donuts to kill time.

    let the eating begin!! i'll check back later....
  12. PaperDoll

    PaperDoll Well-Known Member

    A rough translation for those who slept through Hebrew school (or never attended at all!)

    Thank you G-d for creating us, sustaining us and enabling us to reach this day.

    It's an all-purpose prayer that should be recited frequently. Or so said my childhood rabbi... when he was teaching rather than just getting me to proofread his speeches.
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