Ms. Pacman, 25th anniversary

It's hard to believe Ms. Pacman is this old already and I dare say it's as popular as ever. They just said on the Today show how it's been on just about every single major console and can now be downloaded on iTunes and cell phones. I'm definitely better at Ms. Pacman than Pacman, mostly because there is an extra shortcut! Can't put my finger on my high score, but I can't believe how frustrated I've been playing this game at times, especially if you play it now on Xbox 360 trying to get the achievements.

 

Give the people at Midway credit. When Pacman lost steam, they put a red dot on his head, marketed it as a new game, and the public went ga-ga again.

 

Having the extra mazes really helped. With Pac-Man, you just had the one. In Ms. Pac-Man, you had four. The game is hard to play for a long time unless you have a machine with tweaked speed. Then you can go for an hour.

 

Van Wilder: I know Ms. Pac Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows.

 

Yeah, but no rack, no legs and no butt.

And it's a good thing one of the cutscenes show the stork bringing Pac and Ms. Pac their baby. I can't even BEGIN to picture the, um, Barry White between those two.

 

When asked if she had any regrets, Mrs. Pacman paused for a moment before confessing that she wished that, when she finally decided to settle down and get married after years of promiscuous behavior (and one child born out of wedlock), she and her husband could have been better parents.

"I suppose if Mr. Pacman and I hadn't been so busy eating dots, chasing fruit, and running from ghosts, we might have given my son, Adam, a bit more discipline and structure," she said, a tear running down her round yellow face, unable to be wiped away because she has no arms. "At the very least, we would have taught him that if you're going to Make It Rain in a strip club, you probably should at least let the strippers keep the money. And shooting up the place should be a last, not first resort. I think he always resented that Mr. Pacman wasn't his real father, and that caused a lot of anger for him later in life.

But anyway, Go Titans!"





Adam Pacman Jones, pictured here (left), gazes longingly at his mother and stepfather while he contemplates inviting the guys from STREET FIGHTER, the hunter from DUCK HUNT, DRACULA from Castlevania, DONKEY KONG, and KING BOWSER, the first breathing turtle from Mario Brothers, to attend his mother's anniversary party.

 

When did Adam Jones get married?

 

Ms. Pacman is from India?

 

I'd hit it.

 

I'd hit it.

 

I'd hit it ... but I liked PacMan better.

Draw whatever conclusions you will from that.

 

Actually it went Wawca-Wawca!