Most embarrassing moment.

I'd like you to know I just let out an audible, "Oh, God." That one was for you.

 

The same exact thing happened to me about 2 months ago and you're right, that's a total mood killer. We also broke up not too long afterwards.

 

When I used to dig graves for a living, me and a coworker dug the hole for an urn in the wrong spot. When the family showed up they pointed out that it wasn't their plot and we had to fill it in and go figure out where their plot was and dig a new grave.
That sucked.

 

It's an urn. I never knew people actually buried those...

 

Oh, definitely. I buried a lot of urns that summer.

 

By "burying urns," Angola! means laying a lot of pipe.

 

I definitely wasn't doing much of that that summer.

 

This one's easy. Premature ejaculating when I was with one of the hottest women ever placed on the face of the earth. It was my only shot, too, so to speak. She was Belgian, staying for just a few days at a resort in the Caribbean where I was working. Lovely broken English, ridiculously hot body, stunning face. She was probably a model or something. Epic, epic fail. Mother of all fail, really. I atoned by wearing her like a feed bag, but even though I satisfied her in that regard, that was a paltry consolation. Oh the humanity, oh the fail. She's probably still making jokes about it with her friends in Belgium, and the laughter at the squirty Texan is heard across Flanders' fields to this day. It was like a 33 of BYH played at 45.

 

I like the euphemism nonetheless.

 

I agree.

 

I once got written up (or got a pink slip, anyway I got in trouble) in high school study hall for "passing gas." Still have the student copy of the discipline referral. Not so much embarrassing now because, well, what's a person to do. Not my fault sound resonates pretty well off molded chairs.

 

That's a heartbreaking, though elegantly worded tale. I share the same pain with a German girl at college. There was a lot of foreplay involved. But you're right, that doesn't really matter when you blow early. Thankfully, for me, that was the second time we got together, and I managed to go two rounds with her the first night -- so I didn't look like that big a failure.