More corporate hossheet

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

 

This is the kicker ... that they'll spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to trim comparative nickels and dimes.

 

I'm sure in the spirit of cutbacks and belt-tightening, those consultants will be staying at Motel 6 and eating at the nearby Taco Bell.

 

They called our latest cuts "rightsizing"

It's so much more fun when they give it a cute name.

 

This would be more appropriate than the letter.

 

I think I'd have to rightsize my foot to the ass of anyone who tried to use that word around me.

 

"Project Catalyst": from the wordsmiths that brought you "Spygate"

 

Not to mention: "Tom-Kat"

 

"I want to personally ask each of you for your help and support of Project Catalyst."

By taking our buyout offers .... or promptly leaving when you're fired. Nothing to see here!

 

Oooh, goody!! Corporate goons in charge.

Wow.

I bet if you asked one of these ya-yas, "Have you been introduced to my pica pole?" they would say "No." Thusly ... well, you draw your own conclusion.

 

Look, they're giving 90 days advance notice for anyone with a brain to have their resume circulating. Compared with most media chains anymore, that's downright humane.