Monica Lewinsky: My life is a lonely one

If Monica blew Bill on tape, would she be like a Kardashian now?

 

She needed to get into porn right after this, she would have been queen of the "Down the Hatch" series.

 

That was still going up when it cleared the lights.

 

I remember the day the Starr Report came out. Our paper published it in its entirety, as I'm sure many did.

It was a Sunday, and my sports editor and I were covering the New Orleans Saints that day. We grabbed a copy of the paper before heading to N.O.

I flipped through it on the way (he drove), but didn't read it much in-depth. When we got to the Superdome, however, he was reading the Starr Report pretty much the entire game.

He'd tap me on the shoulder from time-to-time when he got to one of the more salacious details. When he found the cigar anecdote, we completely quit paying attention to the game for about 10 minutes.

 

"I allowed my twat to be used as a cigar humidor and now people make fun of me."

Go figure.

 

Why didn't the Rockies hire her?

 

BOOM!

 

Geez, you fuck one pig — ONE! — and you're a pig fucker for the rest of your life.

 

Love seeing how a young woman being sexually harassed at her job and pretty much having her life ruined is a source for joke after joke after joke because the harasser was a hero to Democrats.

 

According to the "friend", she's upset that she cannot find a decent guy. But look at it this way. After you've blown the president of the United States in the Oval Office, how can anything rise up to that level again?

 

Hehheh, he said "rise"

 

So much comedy goodness, and we're just on the first page.