1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Mitch's Necropalooza

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Starman, Nov 17, 2007.

  1. Trouser_Buddah

    Trouser_Buddah Active Member

    Compensation = quality

    Great argument.

    Doc beat me to it...
     
  2. Well, we've established that the end of the column is as awful as we underpaid kids thought it was.
    How about this part? Is this where the great detail comes in? Let's go fisking!

    "So here I am. A letter to a departed coach. I already can hear your phone call, dispensing with "hello," barking into the receiver as soon as I pick it up: "Hey! What kind of WASTE of SPACE was THAT?"
    (EVEN DEAD FOR A YEAR, BO IS A BETTER EDITOR THAN MITCH'S BOSS IS.)
    To be honest, I'd love to get that call.
    (I'LL BET YOU WOULD. A CALL FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE? MORE GRIST FOR THE MILL.)
    But I can't. So I'll keep typing.
    (YOU CAN STOP IF YOU WANT. YOU SOUND EXHAUSTED.)
    It's Michigan-Ohio State weekend, Bo, and I'll say it straight up: I don't think this game will ever be the same. (THEY'VE PLAYED IT TWICE SINCE BO DIED AND A GREAT NUMBER OF TIMES SINCE HE LEFT THE SIDELINES. IT'S STILL ON TV. IT STILL SEEMS IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE.) It is now the event that followed your death. (SEVERAL OTHERS HAVE AS WELL.) It's a showdown played through a ghost. (HOW IS A SHOWDOWN PLAYED THROUGH A GHOST? DID MANNINGHAM RUN THROUGH THE SHADE OF BO AT MIDFIELD? HAMLET IS NOT PLAYED THROUGH A GHOST. IS THIS BABELFISH? WAIT, I'M WRONG. IT WAS IN FACT PLAYED THROUGH A RAIN SQUALL.) You could have died any other Friday (BUT THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE A CHEAP HOOK FOR A COLUMN FOR THE NEXT DECADE) and it would have been less poetic, less ironic, less indelible (LESS USEFUL, LESS RHAPSODIC, LESS AGRICULTURAL. ADJECTIVES ARE OUR FRIENDS)-- and I know you hate it when I use words like that (I HAVE MANY MORE OF THEM. FINISH MY COLUMN OR I SWEAR I'LL USE THEM), but it's true (AND SYNTAX WALKS DOWN TO THE BAY AND THROWS HERSELF OFF A PIER) The day before the Big Game.(WHICH ISN'T BIG ANY MORE. SEE ABOVE.) One year ago. (SERGEANT PEPPER TAUGHT THE BAND TO PLAY.)
    It's still so hard to believe. (YOU GOT ME THERE.)"

    Your mileage may vary.
     
  3. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member



    Treacle sells.

    This is just too damn easy.
     
  4. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Bravo.

    I am considering having this tattooed on me someplace.
     
  5. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Excellent. You should write for a living. ;)
     
  6. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Didn't read it. Wasn't gonna read it. Was afraid to read it...
     
  7. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Read Fenian's scathing autopsy. You won't regret it.
     
  8. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    How bout dem Tide, Slapp?
     
  9. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Yeah, Zekee... Ms. Slappy is all kinda resigned pissed. Of course, my watching the Michigan game at an Ohio State party and saying the Wolverines were quarterbacked by John Parker Henne didn't help...
     
  10. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Anyone who doesn't think that how well you writer is directly reflected by how much someone is willing to pay you to write for them is either delusional or lying to themselves. For too many of the people here, I'd guess it's quite a bit of both.
     
  11. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Jay Mariotti is the highest-paid writer in Chicago. Doesn't exactly fit into your theory, does it?
     
  12. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    21,000 plus posts and that, my friends, is FB's best.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page