Men wearing swimbriefs

Unless he is in a situation where Speedos will shave enough time off his swim that he will set a world record or at least qualify for an Olympic team, a man should be wearing trunks. Period. The alternative is like driving down the street in a personal car with a full roll cage, helmet and net. You just look like an idiot with an inflated sense of your activities.

 

If you want to show off your package ...

The thought of Sportschick in board shorts is intriguing. Just saying.

 

She'd trip over them. Just saying.

I know, Dead. To. You. I know the drill.

 

Best I can tell this "look" is only popular with gay men and Canadians visiting Fort Lauderdale in the spring. The Canadians are the ones who are also carrying styrofoam coolers.

 

Careful what you say about Canadians. They're very sensitive.

 

Have you thought about having a pair of board shorts handy for when you do get out. I know at swim meets I've covered, most of the athletes have them handy, only stripping down to competition-wear when it's time to race.

 

But are born with an innate sense of style. The speedo/ tevas with socks combo is very popular with canadians and german tourists.

 

How's that different from sportschick wearing an evening gown?

 

Yeah, but the Canadians top it off with a tuque for that extra shot of what-in-the-blue-hell-is-that style.

 

You should only wear a Speedo if it's tight enough that other folks can see your pulse.

Otherwise, it's a cop out; similar to getting a tattoo on skin no one else can see.

 

Wearing a Speedo because you're 'training' is like warming up the way Jim Carey did before the basktball game in 'The Cable Guy.'

 

I'm not swimming in your pool with your throbbing pulse.