Men have no friends and rely on women to do the emotional labor

That's fine so long as its clear to her that you're not the same. 23 yrs of marriage has taught me that aside from small stuff on the margins, we are both going to be the same person we were when we started. Don't fool yourselves, nobody is changing much, are you good with that? Unsoliicted advice, don't ASSUME anything, say it out loud. Then you're going to be golden. I wish you the best.

 

I was married for 9 years and with my ex for 11, and she had designs on changing me. Didn’t work

My gf is very open-minded, smart and adaptive. She knows my book and she isn’t looking to make a re-write. At least when it comes to my character. She hates my cat (and honestly, I do too) and insists I give it to an adoption agency before we move in together. I was averse but honestly the cat is lonely and would benefit from more attention, which we can’t give it.

We argue but we argue well. Like I don’t think she has ever yelled at me. And I’m a shithead at times and deserve it. My ex? She would yell at me in mixed company. And for like nothing. And that wasn’t at the end. That was throughout. She brought out the worst in me.