Me, a safety pin, a box of High Life......

You would have thought after the toe, razor blade fiasco, I would have learned a valuable lesson with regards to doctors.

Think again.

Ate pizza at work yesterday, and it was the hottest pizza (temperature) I have ever eaten. So, hour or so later, I noticed a little bump, sore, whatever starting to form on my tongue. These appear frequently when I burn my tongue.

So.....after getting off late from work, I rush home and change; We were watching TT @ OU at one of my wife's relatives. Dropped by the store, picked up some High Life....6 or 7 beers later, I look at my lovely wife, and ask her to look at my tongue....."LAAAAAAAA"

She looks at it, rolls her eyes, and says "Why don't you just go pop it?"

At this point, Leach and the Raidas are getting pounded on by a million.....I go off into the kitchen, find a safety pin.

I then retire to a nearby restroom to begin my surgery.

I stick my tongue out, start trying to get the top of the thing off so I may be able to squeeze out the stuff.

That failed.

The pin just kept grazing the top.

No puncture, nothing.

So, I muster up the courage to just stab it.

Thun uv a bith, that phukking huwt.

I let out a blood-curdling yelp, and my wife comes back and says "What the hell are you doing?"

" I with thwing to get the thing off my thung"

She just rolls her eyes and starts laughing.

But......the thing on my tongue is slowly going away.

 

I cannot wait to read your self lobotomization thread.

 

I had a feeling this would end amusingly.

 

Good thing you didn't circumcise yourself.

 

For the love of God, don't give Chef any more ideas.

 

I'm staying, this is gonna be good.

 

Please tell me you sanitized the thing.

Next week: Chef lances his infected tongue.

 

This is proof that Kansas really is the most god-forsaken place on the planet.

That, or you have serious issues.

Or both.

 

Swallowing the peroxide is not advised.

 

I shared this with OTD Jr. He says you should try out for Jackass.

 

The 'toe surgery' thread was one of the reasons I stopped being a lurker.

Now 'tongue surgery'?

Knock me over with a feather.

 

I think you just did.