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Me, a safety pin, a box of High Life......

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Chef, Nov 23, 2008.

  1. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    You would have thought after the toe, razor blade fiasco, I would have learned a valuable lesson with regards to doctors.

    Think again.

    Ate pizza at work yesterday, and it was the hottest pizza (temperature) I have ever eaten. So, hour or so later, I noticed a little bump, sore, whatever starting to form on my tongue. These appear frequently when I burn my tongue.

    So.....after getting off late from work, I rush home and change; We were watching TT @ OU at one of my wife's relatives. Dropped by the store, picked up some High Life....6 or 7 beers later, I look at my lovely wife, and ask her to look at my tongue....."LAAAAAAAA"

    She looks at it, rolls her eyes, and says "Why don't you just go pop it?"

    At this point, Leach and the Raidas are getting pounded on by a million.....I go off into the kitchen, find a safety pin.

    I then retire to a nearby restroom to begin my surgery.

    I stick my tongue out, start trying to get the top of the thing off so I may be able to squeeze out the stuff.

    That failed.

    The pin just kept grazing the top.

    No puncture, nothing.

    So, I muster up the courage to just stab it.

    Thun uv a bith, that phukking huwt.

    I let out a blood-curdling yelp, and my wife comes back and says "What the hell are you doing?"

    " I with thwing to get the thing off my thung"

    She just rolls her eyes and starts laughing.

    But......the thing on my tongue is slowly going away.
     
  2. hockeybeat

    hockeybeat Guest

    I cannot wait to read your self lobotomization thread.
     
  3. GB-Hack

    GB-Hack Active Member

    I had a feeling this would end amusingly.
     
  4. RayKinsella

    RayKinsella Member

    Good thing you didn't circumcise yourself.
     
  5. EmbassyRow

    EmbassyRow Active Member

    For the love of God, don't give Chef any more ideas.
     
  6. RossLT

    RossLT Guest

    I'm staying, this is gonna be good.
     
  7. Paper Dragon

    Paper Dragon Member

    Please tell me you sanitized the thing.

    Next week: Chef lances his infected tongue.
     
  8. doubledown68

    doubledown68 Active Member

    This is proof that Kansas really is the most god-forsaken place on the planet.

    That, or you have serious issues.

    Or both. :)
     
  9. Sxysprtswrtr

    Sxysprtswrtr Active Member

    Swallowing the peroxide is not advised.
     
  10. OTD

    OTD Active Member

    I shared this with OTD Jr. He says you should try out for Jackass.
     
  11. backtothemidwest

    backtothemidwest New Member

    The 'toe surgery' thread was one of the reasons I stopped being a lurker.

    Now 'tongue surgery'?

    Knock me over with a feather.
     
  12. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I think you just did.
     
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