McDonald's vs. Oxford English Dictionary

Appreciate the updates, Rick. Nothing wrong with making some extra money if you can; and cool idea about the plastic bag. Wish I would have thought of that back in my Taco Bell-slingin' days.

When I started out in this biz, right out of college, I was a stringer by night and working the T-Bell midday shifts. Good times, and with the right manager working, free grub during breaks. As much free Pepsi as you could stand, too.

Only problem was when I grabbed the bean spatula during a busy rush and seared my hand with the 160-degree, sticky beans that some jackhole left on the handle. If I recall, the spatula got bent pretty good, but the wall behind the food line just had to have beans wiped off it.

 

I'd say ask Mrs. RickStain if she wouldn't mind adding the redhead to the mix.

 

Worked 7-4 yesterday. Much busier than the night shift, so no juicy personal details about anyone. The only person I really talked to was the opening manager, and he just wanted to give me his life story. It was about as exciting as you'd expect from a career McDonald's manager.

I walked to work so that Mrs. Stain didn't have to get the baby out of bed just to drive me. I almost said "screw it" and went back home at least four times. Over the weekend, I invested in some work boots that the oil workers up here like to wear. Oil and grease resistant. They were well worth it, they really gripped on that slippery floor.

On the notices wall, there was a letter dated July 17, 2010, from the corporate headquarters. It said that in the month of June, our restaurant had received 10 complaints called in directly to corporate, the most in the history of McDonald's. So we got that going for us.

I got my break at 8:30 a.m., which sucked on two levels. First, I had to eat crappy McDonald's breakfast food. Second, I had to work seven straight hours when I got back. The girl who rang me up for my break said I could take it in the break room or in the lobby. She said she prefers the break room because there's a TV and you can turn it to cartoons if you want. I chose the lobby, where I read an article about the Italian economy from the New York Times on my cell phone (I finally decided I needed one last month).

My initial orders were to train on the grill station. It didn't take long for the trainer to decide I could handle it and wander off to do other things. The main thing I learned is which McDonald's items are worth eating and which aren't (most of them).

*Nothing* is made fresh or cooked to order in the kitchen. Even the little egg portions come pre-folded and perfectly shaped. If you want fresh food at breakfast, I guess your best bet would be something involving sausage during a busy period. They go through that pretty fast. Maybe on a McMuffin, because those also go the fastest. Other meats and other breads could have been sitting there for awhile.

Anything non-sandwich was probably made the night before, refrigerated and reheated. Burritos, platters, something called a "McSkillet." All pre-made.

Once they stop serving breakfast, the grill station gets really fun. The grill has four sections. The left two are set for "regs," which are the 1/10th pound hamburger patties that go in cheeseburgers and Big Macs. The other two are set for Angus and Quarters, which obviously go on other types of sandwiches. There's a set number of each type of patty that is expected to be kept in the Universal Holding Cabinet from which people make the sandwiches. During lunch, you need to have two trays of four angus patties, four trays of six quarters, and 8 trays of 16 regs at all times.

Nobody orders anything involving quarters or angus, because you are all cheap bastards who load up on McDoubles off the dollar menu. So I basically spent seven hours in a never-ending cycle of cooking regs. They cook really fast, something like 35 seconds.

The cycle goes like this: Raise platens (the top part of the grill). Put on gloves. Grab 16 regs from the grill-side freezer. Place eight on one part of the grill, pull down the platen (which automatically starts the timer), then do the same on the other half. Take off gloves, throw them away. Grab a tray and put a paper liner in it. At that point, the timer on the first half of the patties goes off, and the platen raises automatically. There's a can of salt and pepper mixed that you use to season each cooked patty, then you spatula them into the tray in stacks of four. By the time you are finished with the first eight, the second eight are done.

If you are lucky, at that point you'll have a chance to clean your grill. At the very least, squeegee the excess grease into the grease trough on the sides. Ideally, you have time to scrape it as well. The regs produce a ridiculous amount of grease for their size, and always stick to the grill. Keeping the grill clean is important for a couple of reasons, but only one matters. First, a clean grill cooks the meat better, so it's better for the customer. But fuck him, he's the one who ordered 15 McDoubles (the $1 menu version of a double cheeseburger) in the first place. Second, at some point in the day, someone (probably the closing person on the grill) has to *really* clean the grill, with a steel wool scrubber. The cleaner you keep it, the easier that will be. But the real reason to keep your grill clean is that excess grease splatters and burns the hell out of your hands and arms. I wear a long-sleeve shirt under my uniform, no matter the temperature, to protect my arms, but my hands still got it pretty good all day.

But most of the time, by the time you've cooked one cycle of regs, you need to cook two more, because did I mention that you bastards like to drop twenties on McDoubles?

By four o'clock, I was reminded that I'm not young anymore. My legs and back were killing me. I realized I had probably gotten a pretty good workout for the day and didn't need to go to the gym last night, which was ironic because gym membership is one of those extras that I didn't want to give up as our budget gets a little tighter than I like, which is part of what prompted me to take the second job in the first place.

 

Most in the history of McDonald's?? That's hard to believe. But hey, that was before you started working there, Rick, so not your problem.

Keep on fighting the good fight. And I recall from my fastfood days that some dickheads liked to toss ice cubes into the fryer when people were working near there. So if you end up working the FF station, be warned.

 

Rick, forever I've heard people say things like, "well, if I have to, I'll get a job at McDonald's," or "what do you want me to do, get a job at McDonald's?"

So, how hard is it to get a job at McDonald's in this market?

Also, do you have a Franke or a Melitta espresso machine.

 

It's easy here. I live in oil boom country, with a massive labor shortage. I filled out an application on Thursday, they called me on Friday, set up an interview for Tuesday and I started on Wednesday.

I'll check on the machine. No idea.

 

I think this advice works for fast food workers, porn stars AND prostitutes.

 

After working a 9-hour shift on Sunday morning and afternoon, I had to file back at 8 p.m. last night for a yearly crew meeting.

The general manager of the store looked naggingly familiar. The meeting felt like a lecture from a teacher to students, and then I realized that most of my co-workers are students and he is a former teacher. And current assistant football coach for one of the teams I cover. That's why he looked familiar. We talked a little after the meeting about his team for the upcoming season.

 

Did they pay you to be there for the meeting?

 

Hells yes, that was on the clock. I wouldn't have shown up otherwise.

Also, at the end of the meeting he passed around a box of bags with "prizes" in them. I got a pair of plastic sunglasses and a $5 Wal-Mart gift card.

 

This has GOT TO be performance art. Just has to be. I am praying it is.

 

I'm intrigued. Why?