Married folks, how'd you trim down your wedding's guest list?

Never mind the chair. Break a glass at the end of the ceremony! Mazel tov!

 

Actually want to do that too. Her response? "Why?"

My answer? "It looks like fun."

We have a long standing agreement that she has to be the voice of reason on most things like this. I'm getting carried on an F-N chair though, gosh darn it.

 

See, I don't look at it that way. The fiance and I are basically having this ceremony with the intention of it being nothing more elaborate than a summer party, one that we just happen to be getting married at.

I don't see it as being cheap, I see it as spending our money wisely. As I'm sure most of this board can attest, you don't make a lot of money in this industry and, as such, you have to make some sacrifices. A big, huge wedding is one of those.

Oh, and I really am not the type of person to spend 40K on a wedding. I think that's retarded. Plain and simple.

I want to spend as much as I need to but not a penny more than I have to, if that makes sense.

 

Amen, brother. The best thing the wife and I did -- and one of our main goals going in -- was to come out of the wedding and honeymoon with everything paid for. Thanks to plenty of cash gifts, some wise saving beforehand and wise planning during the process, we accomplished that goal with money to spare. And I don't think our wedding or reception were tacky at all. We got lots of compliments on it, particularly the reception at the cabin.

 

If that's the case, if I ever get married, it's the courthouse and a six-pack of Schlitz for me.

 

Now they can provide the beer, too.

 

This is exactly what we did. Mrs. Cranberry and I had an outdoor party for about 100 and got married in a 10-minute ceremony with a justice of the peace (female) about a third of the way through. Tent and estate rental (overlooking the Connecticut River) were the big costs along with a buffet catered by a favorite local restaurant. (The chef was aghast when I told him I wanted a picnic feel, including fried chicken.) My dad's friends handled the open bar and I picked up a couple of kegs at the local distributer.

My two regrets: 1) I should have hired musicians instead of DJ, and 2) I should have better considered clean up as I had to throw the two kegs in the back of my pickup and return them after my own wedding with a passenger getting sick out the window.

The highlights included: giving water pistols to all the little kids; most of my friends changing into shorts and T-shirts to play softball later in the afternoon, and my wife's mean drunk uncle who threw a lamp and wanted to fight me during the after party at my apartment later that night because I laughed at him when he was giving me a mean drunk lecture about killing me if I didn't treat Mrs. Cranberry right.

I'll go into the deer head exchange and the attempted kidnapping at another time because that's more about the bachelor party.

 

Also don't feel obligated to provide the booze free of charge, but also don't charge through the nose for it either. Most of the weddings I've been to have had a toonie bar (I live in Canada - so down there a $2 bar). It keeps it cheap, it should cover the cost of the booze/mix and you may even make a buck or two, espcially if your dad or uncle is tending. Also, it helps keep a little control on the intake, where as people won't be going up and grabbing 10 drinks at a time like with an open bar, and then half of them get spilt or forgotten about -- been to a few of those too.

 

We invited all immediate family with the cut at aunts/uncles/cousins. We also sent invites to many friends, knowing full well not everyone would come. I think we had about 65 percent RSVP for the wedding, and a few more attended the reception. But a few of the wedding guests did not attend the reception, so it balanced out.

 

So, if you going with a simple, low cost reception: Why the dilemma over inviting four extra people?
I personally think most people spend way beyond there means on weddings these days. That doesn't seem to be an issue for you because 'The fiance and I are basically having this ceremony with the intention of it being nothing more elaborate than a summer party, one that we just happen to be getting married at.'
So invite four extra people.


As for the chair thing, I've got to back up 21's advice. If you're not Jewish, toting people around on chairs and high-speed dancing in circles have real potential to result in a horrific ending.
Every time I'm at a Jewish wedding I marvel at it. I'm Irish. If we did that at one of our family weddings there would be a horrible drunken accident, punches would be thrown and several people would end up at the emergency room.

 

I got lucky -- my mother-in-law started saving for my wife's wedding when she was born. She put enough cash away over 30 years so that by the time that we got married she was able to afford a wedding for 200 which was way above our pay grade.

I think that a cash bar is tacky, but beer and inexpensive wine don't cost that much. Also, in this age of technology, a good iTunes play list and high quality digital camera save a lot of money. I don't love a buffet, but it saves some coin as well.

As to the lifting on a chair thing, at 6'4" I am always recruited, even if I am a D list invite. I officially have hora shoulder and can only be called into duty in a certified emergency.

 

You say that like it's a bad thing. If a wedding doesn't end with a raging drunk free-for-all you're probably doing something wrong.

One of my sports stringers at the time volunteered to handle the photography as a wedding gift. Big savings there but, as usual, too many slides at second base.