Married folks, how'd you trim down your wedding's guest list?

We got married three years ago and came in at just under $2,000 for the wedding, IIRC. That doesn't count my wife's dress, which was a gift from my mother-in-law, or the rings. We budgeted for about 100 people.
The wedding was at a small-town church where my wife grew up (cost: $300), reception was at a nearby cabin owned by a family friend (no charge) and catered by a local outfit for $9 or $10 a person. It was an afternoon reception, so the DJ only cost about $250. Alcohol was BYOB, but we probably spent another $100 or so on cokes.
Obviously, our situation worked out well and it was a fairly small wedding. But the lesson is get family members to contribute where they can, cut corners where you can, and don't feel like you have to provide a five-star gourmet meal. Nice and cheap are not mutually exclusive.

 

My dad's a minister, and my family practically owns the local church in the town most of them live. I was something like the 13th member of my family to get married there. The church has a large reception hall with a kitchen, both were free for us. The church has an army of old-ladies used to doing large-scale cooking.

I have one aunt who is a seamstress and another who is a cake-maker. My mom handed down her old wedding dress, which caused me some Freudian issues but made my wife extremely happy. My mom's best friend at the time was an extremely talented wedding photographer.

All-in-all, it worked out fantastic. Everybody in the family felt involved in the event, which made it a lot more fun than just hiring outside help to throw the party.

 

Exactly. My wife and I did things similarly. Had our reception in East Bumfuck at the local VFW hall, but the building is set up like this old 1880s mansion with a renovated dance hall type space. That made it fairly inexpensive, but also taking away the 'this sucks, we're having our reception in a fucking VFW' feeling.
We got a good deal on a wedding cake from a local vendor, one of my wife's former co-workers DJed for us, and I think he even passed out a couple of cards to drum up business for later.

Our parents both paid for some, but in total, I think we did it for about $6,000 all told.

 

You won't remember who came anyway, so cut away.

Heed 21's advice.

 

Pretty damn close. We've got the list down to 75 people, are having a reception/summer cookout so it's going to be very informal, are using a laptop with speaker in lieu of a DJ, have a photographer for the ceremony only, and are having a BYOB reception.

 

Oh, and FWIW, I'm hoping to get this whole thing done with for $2K or less and, right now, that seems totally doable.

The biggest issue is going to be food. I feel like I should provide enough for everyone but, frankly, I'm really too cheap to want to do that.

 

So you're only going to feed some of the people?

 

No, I mean I feel like I should have tons of options for folks but, in reality, it's probably going to be a buffet style 'eat what's there' type of thing.

Another note, though I'm not Jewish, I'd like to be carried on a chair during the reception. The bride-to-be frowns upon this. Anyone got a way I can sell this to her?

 

Yes, get Burger King to sponsor you. Wear a crown.

 

Tell her that if you were a Hindu you'd need an elephant.

 

You can't just get someone on the chair, you need people who know how to do the chair carrying, or she is going to end up with her head in a chandelier, or in the cake when she is accidentally flung from the chair due to drunken chairholders.

I would rethink this.

As for food, just go with heavy appetizers and forget the big entree ordeal. You're not Jewish, no one will remember or care.

 

OK, that might be taking it a little far. This is the biggest day of your life. Be creative and do it without bankrupting yourself for life, but a $2,000 wedding seems like straining it a bit much. You want people to feel like they're at a celebration, not at a school dance with one of those orange drink fountains rented from McDonalds.

If you can make people remember it for how creative and smart you were, great. Make sure they don't remember it for how cheap you were. If that means going into debt a little, you won't regret it as much as you'll regret cheapening your wedding day.

Just something to think about.