Married folks, how'd you trim down your wedding's guest list?

I really don't think that's a universal truth, though. We're all guilty of extrapolating what we're used to and assuming it's normal for everyone.

 

You're missing the point.

If the guests you're inviting are going to get trashed because it's an open bar, your friends have a problem. Doesn't change the basic premise that you don't host a party/dinner/wedding/funeral with a cash bar.

Anyone can go three hours, three days, three weeks, three months without a drink. Not the point

 

Marry a southern baptist. No drinking and no dancing. Short, small wedding regardless of who you invite (but invite who you want because they will all send gifts)

 

it also depends a lot on the part of the country. in some areas big banquet hallls and big weddings aren't as popular. i've been to 20, maybe 30 weddings and only 1 was cash bar.

 

I don't think I'll be doing a cash bar. I'm just saying there's not going to be an open bar. We'll probably have an adult section with some beers and whatnot but if you come to my wedding expecting to get six Long Island ice teas, three sex on the beaches, two Corronas and a half keg of Bud Light, you're probably going to be disappointed.

 

Yeah, Shockey's got this nailed: You're hosting a party. You don't want booze at your party, fine. People can come or not come accordingly. But you don't make people pay for drinks when you're hosting a party. You wouldn't do it at your home, and it's no different for a wedding.

 

Again, I don't remember saying I was going to have a cash bar. If someone shows me a post where I said different, then I apologize. I've said a couple times now that my plan is probably going to be buying a cooler full of beers and some bottles of wine and people can have what they want.

And, frankly, in my opinion if I did have a cash bar it wouldn't send the message you're sending. It would strictly be a "Hey, I've got a shit ton of juices, soda, water, e.t.c. for you. Also, if you feel like drinking, you can do that over there, it's an added bonus."

 

Hey man, I think they're jumping on me more so than you, as I had earlier recommended a cheap cash bar.

I had never considered a toonie bar as tacky. Mind you at most of those weddings I've been to there were already a couple of bottles of wine per-table. Maybe it is a Western thing -- the bridal party also usually passes a cowboy boot around at the reception. The cash bars I did take offence to were the ones charging five bucks a drink, because that is what the facility they rented charges and the facilty has control of the bar or has certain regulations. I always figured the toonie bar made sense, they were cheap, I figured it was a way of helping the couple cover costs who were already buying me dinner, providing the night's entertainment, etc., and like I said before helps cut down on the abuse of the alcohol. I may not charge for booze when I host a party, but I almost always at least bring a case over to parties I attend or maybe a 26, so it's no biggie for me to be buying $2 drinks instead.

 

Sounds like you're planning a really cool Sweet 16 party with a room for the grown-ups and everything!

Seriously, I applaud that you're not positioning alcohol as the main attraction for your wedding. I bet you can find a 24-year-old guy who will pour uncle Fred's scotch and sodas for tip money if you decide to look for a no-frills solution. This economy is great for finding cheap labor.

 

A fantastic idea.

Man, who would ever do something like that?

 

We had an open bar and I worried about what the tab would end up being. Those journalists can drink, you know. It wasn't that bad after all, though. We married on a Sunday at 12:30 and had a sit-down lunch afterward (had to schedule it so the night folks from the paper could go) with a band and dancing. Our biggest problem was cutting the list. We ended up not inviting any people's kids, which was foreign to me because I was used to big banquet hall weddings with all ages represented. Also fought over whether to invite "and guest," which I pretty much felt we had to do and hubby felt otherwise. My biggest irritation with the wedding was we had about 16 people RSVP that they would be there, then they didn't show up. I think 12 of them were from the sports department. Still bitter about that.

Also, in an earlier post someone said something about buffets being cheaper. All the places we looked at told us this was not true. They have to make a serving of each item for every person attending, whether they all choose that item or not, so it can end up being more expensive.