Man stabs brother over Hot Pocket

The only thing I would stab a man or woman over ...

 

Well it's in my fucking head now too, Pallister.

And I've got 10,000 spoons when all I need is a knife, as well.

 

WHAT ARE YA GONNA PICK?

 

Wow, my old roommate used to eat them all the time. I don't think he moved to South Bend.

 

Yeah, 'Beetus. Not only did you start a hell of a thread, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this was "Oh good, I can drop a Jim Gaffigan line in and look cute."

Nine words into the thread and I disabused myself of that notion.

Thanks for that. Not only do I have that infernal jingle stuck in my head, but you took the best part of the thread away.

 

you'd figure the hot pocket was punishment enough

 

Gotta ask. Is the hot pocket on the Rolodex of Love?

 

Maybe the best final sentence in the history of journalism.

 

You only say that because you're not on Flash's PM list.

 

Maybe so, but it ranks right up there with the best lede in history ....

"A former Smalltown football star-turned-copper thief was sentenced ....."

 

Au contrare my intrepid friend.

That honor goes to Ed Lahey of the Chicago Daily News, writing about child-killer and intellectual prodigy Richard Loeb being stabbed in prison for coming on to another inmate.

"Richard Loeb, despite his erudition, today ended his sentence with a proposition."

 

I'd stab BYH for a Hot Pocket.