Man kills girlfriend, cooks her

Yes, apparently ONLY in Texas:

http://media.www.dailycollegian.com/media/storage/paper874/news/2007/03/26/News/Man-Murders.ExGirlfriend.Burns.Body.In.Barbeque.Grills-2790893.shtml

 

I'm not a fan of my ex-girlfriend, but I sincerely doubt I'd cook her.

 

I take it back, it happens in New Orleans, too:

http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/1006/2002_cooks_girlfriend.html

This was the one I was actually looking for in my original response.

 

He must have gotten the wrong idea when she told him he could finish on the grill.

 

What a nut.

 

Speak for yourself.

I'd consider tossing my ex in an oversized microwave for ten minutes.

 

solid.

 

You should probably see someone about that. And no, not a microwave salesman.

 

I'm still laughing as I type this.

 

Seriously? You think so? I think I wouldn't be too keen to mess with a guy who ATE HIS GIRLFRIEND. I'd probably think to myself, "You know ... if he was crazy enough to do THAT, what isn't he crazy enough to do?"

I read some magazine article about the cop who fucked up that guy (Louima?) in the NYPD bathroom (sodomized him with a broom, etc). He said he pretty much stood up the first few days, said, "Yeah, I used to be a cop. You heard what I did out there, when I had everything to lose, right? Now think what I'll do in here now that I have nothing to lose." Said it worked pretty well for him.

 

These two guys in Texas must have mental problems, but if they were strapped into the lethal injection chair and they asked me to push the button to execute the two, I would and wouldn't lose two seconds sleep over it!

 

Dayam. Best line I've read in a while.