Machete vs. The Expendables

He's probably in it for like 60 seconds. How long could it have possibly taken to shoot one or two scenes? A couple hours?

 

Expendables was terribly tremendous. A horrible movie yet incredibly enjoyable. Noisy and bloody as fuck and illogical and impossible to keep track of the action, but so over the top barely any of it registered. Totally worth the $11 to see it in the theatre. People were clapping and going apeshit. It was a truly nostalgic flick harkening back to the days when we just wanted to see shit blown up for little apparent reason by blissfully uncomplicated heroes who had no sense or irony nor humor.

I was surprised the 10 pm showing was nowhere near sold out, so I hope Sly hasn't sketched out parts two and three. Of course, the plot to this was wafer-thin, so if he did write the sequels, it probably took him an afternoon.

Willis' cameo was great, he definitely made a couple nods to Pulp Fiction in his monologue. Ahnold was fine and Sly had the line of the flick as he walked away. Only real complaint: Not nearly enough Charisma Carpenter, who was in all of three scenes. Good Christ is she ever hot.

 

One of the cable shows this morning ran an "Expendables" trailer bagging on that chick film debuting this weekend: "If you let "Eat Pray Love" beat "The Expendables," you don't deserve to be a man!"
Guys, just tell the ladies Jason Statham is in this film. Shirtless outdoes any beefcake in Julie's film.

 

Just got back and ..... IIIIIIIIII liked it.

It was a fun movie. There wasn't a minute went by without something happening that moved the action along. This is one of those reasons why AP has no business reviewing movies. No, it won't win any points with "film" geeks, but for those of us who enjoy good old fashion shoot-em up "movies", it's probably one of the better releases in a long time.

The fact that one of the previews was Machete, I can't wait for it to come out.

 

The Expendables killed at the box office to win the weekend. Screw the critics.

 

And F Julia Roberts.

 

This.

Holy Christ, this to the power of infinity.

 

For some reason, I really feel I need to see the Expendables.

 

If ever a movie was made to rake in the cash while giving the critics the middle finger, it is Expendables. And I say this before even seeing it.

The funny part is I saw what is apparently the final episode ever of At the Movies this afternoon and it included a negative review of Expendables. I had forgotten that the show was still on. I really would have loved to hear Siskel and Ebert go off on this one.

 

Saw Expendables on Friday and really enjoyed it. I was also struck with the thought that it probably took Stallone about 10 minutes to write the script.

 

Saw it tonight and enjoyed it. Reminded me of Commando, and I mean that in a good way. One of the previews was M. Night Shyamalan's upcoming movie. Forget the name. Five people stuck in an elevator. Twists. One person isn't who they appear to be. Boo. Anyway, you watch the whole preview and then toward the end comes the "From the Mind of M. Night Shyamalan." This is the third time I've seen the preview in a theater. And this was the third time a majority of the crowd burst into laughter when that came on the screen. Night's fallen.

 

Loved it. Big, bad, dumb, obnoxious, loud and FUN! It was an free-fire-zone antidote to all of the feminized, estrogen-laced pap that studios crank out nowadays like Twilight. It was a movie for GUYS!

And besides, how can you top Terry Crews wielding an AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN. You can't.