LIVE from the DMV........Its Chef.

Still don’t see it. At least not on mobile.

 

Nobody puts @OscarMadison in a corner.

 

Damn skippy.

(followed by very ladylike snorting noises.)

 

Last time I had to make a visit to the DMV was a Tuesday midafternoon in mid-July, which I judiciously selected for least traffic.

Holy shit, got low traffic and then some. I didn't have time to fill out the form at the entrance when my name was called. Had to be 3 minutes. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, out in 14 minutes. Good for 12 more years.

 

Vonlane buses anywhere I might be interested to fly to,so fuck that Senselessbrenner Real ID nonsense.

 

In Alabama, of all places, if all you are doing is renewing your DL, you can just walk up to a self-service kiosk at the DMV and do it. You make sure your information is correct or update it, stand on the footprints and look at the red dot. It takes your picture, you swipe a credit card, and it prints your temporary. New one comes in the mail a week or less later.

Anything more complicated than that and you're in DMV hell like everyone else, but the simple update transaction is a breeze.

 

I went to the DMV twice one September morning trying to get the Real ID. Apparently reading comprehension was not my strong suit that morning because I didn’t have the right documents either time.

So I said fuck it, went to my hometown the next day, bought three official birth certificates and went to the DMV there. Twenty minutes, tops. Took the absolute worst picture of me ever, one eye all lazy and shit, my hair a hot (temp) mess, slack jawed, ugly. I didn’t even have the will to ask for another photo.

I drove home, defeated. Pretty sure I didn’t even get laid that night. Well, I can say that about most nights.

To whit: Fuck the DMV.

 

Reminder: Real ID has nothing to do with your state motor vehicle department. It's a federal requirement of Security Theater. If the states didn't implement it and all of a sudden nobody in a state or states could get on an airplane, imagine the commotion.

 

But they could still bring any other form of federal ID.

It's just a matter of which protocol people choose to go through: Real ID or passport (or Green Card, or . . .).

Because almost everybody has a driver's license, and almost everybody will need to renew it, it's just a good, almost-seamless way of fulfilling this new requirement.

 

Did my real ID switch about a year ago. Got my notice my licence was due and I wanted the real ID so I didn't have to deal with my passport for the few times it would actually matter. That and it just seemed like something to have cause why not? Set up an appointment but I couldn't get one until a month after my license was set to expire. Still what the hell. Show up in San Jose with what I'd hope was the right stuff (it wasn't but didn't know that until I got a notice a few months ago in the mail).

When I walked up there was a line to check people in--appointments and non--where they checked your forms. If they were in order, you moved on to the get a number stage. When your number was called, spoke to someone briefly and was directed to a kiosk where I had to essentially renew online (I think this was a step I missed before I arrived that wasn't clear I needed to do beforehand). Then had to wait to be called ... again ... and had to present basically the same info. I was given another number to get my picture taken then had to return and hope the person wasn't busy. From there I got my temp license (which was silly because I had a valid ID. But don't worry about that) and then could leave. In all, I was with someone for 10 minutes but spent an hour all told.