Little Debbie vs. Hostess

This is an important discussion that warrants its own thread.

For Little Debbie: Oatmeal Cream Pies, Nutty Bars, Fudge Brownies and Swiss Cake Rolls.

For Hostess: Zingers, Ding Dongs, Coffee Cakes and Twinkies.

 

This is a great philosophical debate for me. Does the greatness of Zingers overcome the deeper Little Debbie roster? I also like me some coffee cakes, but Twinkies are the worst of the snacks.

Little Debbie is usually a little cheaper, too. I'll take Peyton Manning over the Houston Texans roster. Willing to concede I may be in the minority.

 

I'm assuming you're siding with Nick the Slick?

It's probably been a couple years since I've had either, but Oatmeal Cream Pies are insanely good. I would say it's the best product put out by either company.

 

Zingers are the best hostess product. I agree with you on that. I love the lemon ones...

 

You're shortchanging the Hostess roster. It also has those wonderful sugar-coated fruit pies, and Snowballs.
Even if they ought to come with an insulin needle, the fruit pies are insanely awesome.

 

I don't think I ever had a Little Debbie product until I moved down south when I was in my late 20s.

 

The fruit pies are excellent, but Snowballs suck.

 

Every time I see a Little Debbie package, it makes me think of being at a dimly-lit convenience store just off the interstate at 5 a.m., or a vending machine with a cloudy window in the break room of
You see Little Debbie, and you wonder how long she's been down on that bottom shelf, tucked just out of sight, wondering when a man would come to take her away and devour her Oatmeal Cream Pie. You're hungry. She's hungry. You lock eyes and make your move.
As you open the package, Little Debbie is grateful. Her sweet aroma is released as the wrapper is pulled back and she fills your mouth with flavor. But the initial wave of joy quickly turns into a quick snack before you move along. Her pie had been sitting on that shelf for six months gathering dust. It has become stale and yeasty. The pillowy cakes aren't as fluffy as they used to be.
You finish the experience momentarily satisfied. Little Debbie was better than your encounter with Golden Flake -- what a batshit crazy snack that turned out to be -- but it's not a relationship you feel the need to revisit. Next time you want a snack, it'll be time to visit your old friend Hostess. Even though you know she's no good for you, she never lets you down and is into some really freaky shit. I mean, cream inside a tube? Snowballs? Ding Dongs?
Little Debbie is the old maid of snack foods.
Hostess is the hot ex-girlfriend who likes to get down.

 

Is Drake's still around? 'Cause Drake's Cakes kicked all their asses.

 

Hostess Cupcakes own everything Little Debbie's makes.

 

Swiss Cake Rolls are proof there is a God and He loves us.

 

This is awesome, Batman.

And so are Little Debbie Nutty Bars.

If you get them when they're "fresh" (and yes, I realize that word is relative in the world of Hostess and Little Debbie), they have a good crunch and you can still taste the fake chocolate.

Zingers are good, too, but they can't overcome the decadence of Oatmeal Creme Pies and Nutty Bars.