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Life takes a turn for the weird

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JayFarrar, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member

    I didn't know where else to put this, so I figured, aw hell, why not on SJ?
    So here it goes.
    I've been dating this girl for a couple of weeks.
    Some may recall the t-minus 45 minutes thread on the first date. A blind one.
    So she is very nice, smart, good looking, good job, etc., etc. We have went out several times since and everything appears to be going swimmingly, literally. Saturday, we went to the lake, hit the water and also had a little picnic action.
    So we are in the car, and jibber jabbering. It is getting time for the "talk", you know the one, where you go over the failed relationships of the past.
    And I tell her, ask me anything. Nothing but honesty here.
    So she stops and thinks about it, and while I'm waiting I'm thinking she is going to ask why aren't you married or something along those lines.
    Her: Are you a virgin
    Me: No, as I laugh
    Her: How many people have you slept with?
    Me: Umm, more than 10. More. I don't know the number off the top of my head. You're not going to ask me for names are you?
    Her: No.
    Me: Why did you ask if I was a virgin? That's weird.
    Her: No it isn't.
    Me: Yes it is, that's just strange. Are you still a virgin? As I laugh
    Her: Yes.
    Me: Laughs. That's funny.
    Her: No I'm still a virgin.
    The voice in my head: Gawdammit.
    Me: Really?
    Let me explain here. She's 34 and was the sorority president at a party school. The kind of school where the hips are loose and the women have blowjob lips. Good god, the rumor was the arches in the Grove could collapse if a virgin ever graduated from there.
    Me: How?
    Her: My plan was to marry a minister, and we dated before he went to divinity school. Other guys have come and gone, but I believe in one man for one life.
    One man, one life is apparently where you stay a virgin until marriage and then be with that person until you die.
    Me: What?
    Her: It's what I believe. Does that freak you out?
    Me: Yes, yeah it does. That's kind of a big bomb to drop.
    Her: Why?
    Me: I can't really explain. I think I need time to process all of this.
    Her: Okay
    The conversation goes on, but that's the salient point.

    So here's the deal. I think that my freaking out is legit. To me, it seems a little weird. I understand being chaste and not spreading it all around town, but lordy, in 34 years, you'd think that at least one guy would stumbled and fallen in by accident. How in this day and age does that happen?
    Plus, does that make me kind of a dick to be upset that a girl is too pure?
    I don't know.
    And since this girl is mutual friends with friends of mine — that's how we got setup in the first place — I can't turn to them and ask what the hell I should do.
    So I leave it to the fine, somewhat anonymous folk of SportsJournalists.com.
  2. JakeandElwood

    JakeandElwood Well-Known Member

    Oh, Christ. It's a choice some people make. Some folks don't want to hook up like most people.
    I think you came off as a dick, but that's from reading text. I have no idea how you sounded or how she took it. I have a feeling you'll be talking about this again, though. Best of luck, sir.
  3. jimnorden

    jimnorden Member

    I totally agree with the way you handled it. One man for one life would absolutely creep me out and want to make me move on.

    but i'm also not too into that religious crap, so i may be a little biased.
  4. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    I don't think he comes off as a dick. I think it's perfectly normal to be freaked out when you're in your 30s and you find out the person you're dating is still a virgin. It's not the norm in this day and age.
  5. JakeandElwood

    JakeandElwood Well-Known Member

    I don't think he sounded like a dick, but she might take it the wrong way.
  6. zebracoy

    zebracoy Guest

    Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?
  7. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    By any chance, Jay, does she work with closets for a living?
  8. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    She was waiting for A.C. Green
  9. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

    It really can be that simple.
  10. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    If she's 34, she's probably used to it by now.
  11. JakeandElwood

    JakeandElwood Well-Known Member

  12. SportySpice

    SportySpice Member

    Hell, I'd be surprised too if I was still dating and a woman in her mid-30s said she was still a virgin.
    Just from what you typed, you sounded honest and a little stunned, but not a dick.
    I'd have to think she's run into other guys who really did act like dicks when they found out she was a virgin, so she's probably a bit hesitant. But once you've both had time to think, if you really dig each other, it won't be a problem.
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