Liberals! Your domestic partner (wife or otherwise) will love this for V Day!

The thing with Communism is that it's a good idea. It's sharing. They teach you that in kindergarten, right?

The leaders have just been too heavy handed (mass killings, torture, dreary clothes).

I think it needs to be done right. It needs to be bright and colorful and happy.

So why not try Communism as a musical? Everyone sings and dances and wears sparkly, form fitting clothes.

Instead of a dictator, who gets old and mean and rudely bangs his shoe on a table, you'd have a director.

He would cast everybody, make sure they learns their lines and steps and would be out of the picture after opening night.

I'm sure we could get Hollywood and Broadway behind this.

It could be big, big, BIG

 

That was my thought...but a hell of a lot more entertaining than the way I was going to put it.

The Soviet Union's government was nothing like what communism was supposed to be.

Then again, the U.S. isn't really a democracy. It's a republic.

 

Yes! Yes!

SportsJournalists.commers of all countries, unite!

 

And if you're gonna have a Communist Party, you need one of these t-shirts.

 

I definitely could see those guys as being party animals back in the day. Just look at Stalin.

 

I want that shirt!

 

Uncle Joe stewing in the corner there with his Stoli and Diet Coke.

 

Even Lenin called him rude.

 

I see that Trotsky and Bukharin were purged from the t-shirt. Zinoviev and Kamaniev, too, the Stalinist lickspittles.

I'll wait on the socialist party shirt with Eugene Debs, Norman Thomas and Dorothy Day drinking Virgin Marys. Not as rowdy, but less prone to authoritarian excesses.

 

Discovered this place from Jones

http://www.threadless.com/

I believe they're out of stock of the Official Commie Leftie SportsJournalists.com t-shirt but maybe it'll come back I definitely want one.

This one we could get for JDV

 

It worked for Max Bialystock with the Nazis, why wouldn't it work for Communism, too.

 

I can just see Hugo Chavez in a black turtleneck one size too small prancing around backstage:
"Places, people! Places! (clapping his hands) House lights go down in five minutes!"

Communism: The Musical

Selections from the score:

Opening number- traditional Broadway-type song
"Labor! Our Labor! (Our Labor Creates All Wealth)"

Whimsical piece sung by secondary characters- R&B style
"The Party Can't Win You Until the Black and Brown are Down, Too"

Female lead's first number- pop song
"I'm a Sister (A Mother, A Worker)"

Male lead's first number- traditional Broadway style
"If the Workers Lead, the Leaders Will Follow"

Evil Capitalist's theme song- very gay-sounding Broadway style
"You Miserable, Horrible, Impossible People (Don't You Know You're 'Associates' of the Company?)"

Song for workers' uprising- rock-and-roll style
"From the Factories to the Fields"

Sad song mourning fallen revolutionaries- gospel style
"Old Paul Robeson's Ghost"

Love song for male/female leads- traditional Broadway style
"Our Five-Year Plan"

Song for final battle with counterrevolutionaries- orchestral instrumental
"There's No Turning Back"

Final number- traditional Broadway finish, everyone's on stage
"Ain't It Grand? Ain't It Great? We Finally Got a Workers' State!"

"Places, people! (clap, clap, clap) Places!"