Let me know if you can run this and how much it'll cost.

Twice today I've gotten this request from relatives of a young athlete who wanted us to run a pic/story of their hero.

First off, don't grown-up Americans understand that you don't pay to get stuff in the paper unless you want to place an ad? They seem to think that you can just cut a check and get a big article written.

when I pointed out that we don't charge for articles, each lady said, "Oh, OK. So you'll run it for free?"

"uh, no, I didn't say we'd run it, but if we do, we don't charge. if you want to buy an ad congratulating him, I can transfer you to advertising."

Continuing my rant, neither kid lives in our readership area but each has "lots of family that lives here."

One was drafted in the 38th round by the Pirates and the other won some 6-foot motocross trophy.

I'm thinking about running the motocross kid because he used to live here, according to his mom. the other kid's aunt should try his hometown paper down the road.

 

stupid,

Get $100 in cash and do the damn story.

 

$100? I was thinking at least $300. I was hoping to score a bag of indo later in the week.

 

Whatever the market will bear.

 

we had a lady here that informed us she paid her taxes just like anyone else and her press release should be run as written....

fun times

 

Awesome. Just awesome.

 

Sounds like the ones complaining that their daughter's volleyball team didn't get as much ink as the football team and hadn't we heard of Title IX?

 

A woman called me this week to let me know her daughter had a basketball scholarship lined up. I was already working on the story, but that wasn't enough for mom -- she said she wanted me to email her the story so she could "add to it if it wasn't long enough." Like you Stupid, she offered to pay me for it.

 

Be glad you only got a phone call about that. In Michigan, a group of whiny moms sued the state association to try to get girls' basketball and volleyball season switched. They won at the district level, but there have been several appeals.

 

Pardon me, ma'am, but I think you have me confused with the red light district. That's on Stewart Avenue. But thanks for reading the paper.

 

Damn. I'd be sorely tempted to stop working on that story.

 

And on the 12th day, the good Lord invented the community sports page. 'Tis a place for all the unwanted and unwarranted stories that all good sports writers don't want to do and so that they may preserve their dignity.

Amen.