LDRs

Not to throw cold water on the thing, you Boston Hater, but I've never felt confident about relationships that start off as LDRs. It's one thing if you guys had been together for a few months, and gotten really close, and only now are you separating. But if this thing's just starting and you're that far apart, I'm afraid it's going to be a lot of heartache and longing. Basically, I can see three possibilities here:

A. One of you tires of not having the other around physically (not just sex), and decides they've had enough.

B. Neither person cheats or leaves the thing, but one (or both) of you starts to resent it, and maybe even the other person.

C. Against incredibly long odds, it somehow works out.

I only see C happening if one of you makes a move, and soon. Sorry man.

 

Hey, I appreciate the honesty. We've both talked about the practicality of this and we've agreed to try and see where this goes, but if it just doesn't work, there won't be any hard feelings and we'll stay friends.

 

Best way to go at it.

 

Good lord, I don't remember the last NON-LDR relationship I had. One, I was able to see the person once a month. One, it was every couple months. This one, it's about four times a year, depending on our schedules. But this is the one that's working.

Who knows how, or why, these things work? Would I like to see him more often? Absolutely. Do our schedules (and finances) allow it? Hell no. So we talk when we can, we send text messages to let the other know we're thinking of them, and we look forward until we can be next to each other again. It's not easy...but it's easier than not having him in my life. Simply not an option to me.

 

Court orders have a funny way of making that happen...

 

Or, you know you'll go certifiably insane if you stop trying.

Either way, I'm almost 5 years into this certifiable insanity. The LDR (at first glance I thought this thread was about Mormons, sorry), can work for the right combo of people, as long as you have the same vision and goals and commitment to the relationship. But I think it would be especially hard without some financial freedom to plan a lot of getaways and time together.

And of course all your friends and family will tell you you're crazy and it will never work, but if it's working for you, it's not their business.

ps, maybe Boom can put you on our phone plan.

 

I learned that lesson from experience. I'm going to be starting a LDR soon, but I've already gotten to know her (I'm moving) so it should hopefully work better.

 

I was going to put a pictrue of Lulu and Junior here, resplendent in their Tennessee Orange... but I like ya too much -- even if we havent heard about China yet...

 

Mrs. tbf and I have had a couple or three long-distance relationships over the years. And when I say long distance, I mean really long distance.

 

I've had one. I know people who got married after about a year. But most break up because of the distance after a certain length of time. So you have to decide if you want to shoot the puck, if you will. Because time is not on your side. And why put your life on hold if things aren't moving forward.

You CAN'T tell me that, in New York, there's not another woman out there. And you'd be deceiving yourself if you believe that, in San Diego, she might not meet another guy. LDRs require a lot of energy, and at some point you have to decide if it's worth it. One of you will.

 

Trust me, I'm fully aware of all the things that could happen with 3,000 miles between us. Neither of us are expecting to get married next year, either. What happens, happens. Who knows, maybe I might land a gig further west, if not in CA or she goes to med school further east. But both of us are smart enough that we won't relocate just for each other. Too many variables to think about and too little cash to make a gamble like that.

But lord, is she a looker!