Last day on the job

This is my last day on the job here. I move to a new city for a new job this weekend and start next week.

My last story is done. I'm waiting for approval from the source (this isn't a newspaper job), but I'll get that this afternoon. The boss is out, but other co-workers are here. I'm supposed to work until 5.

What should I do between now and then? I know SportsJournalists.com will not fail me.

 

Grab the flask out of the bottom drawer and take a swig.

 

Dick.

 

Take all the Bs off the keyboards.

 

Grab as many office supplies as you can.

 

Go to the greasiest joint in town and order as much as you can eat.
Then fine the nicest toilet in the building and do your work. Do. Not. Flush.

 

SONUVABITCH! I packed flasky last night.

Do you know where I work?

 

You have any eggs? Crack em open behind the old filing cabinet that hasn't been moved in years.

 

You _astard! I still can't get the company to _uy me a new key_oard. You are so _ogus, TSP.

 

Proposition the boss' wife. Getting illicit head in the parking lot is a great way to say goodbye.

 

Uh ... my boss doesn't have a wife.


Rusty's suggestion is quality. I have two eggs at home.

 

Switch people's chairs around. Then sit back and laugh when they sit back down, get all fidgety, and try to figure out why the chair doesn't feel quite right.

If you're the vindictive type, go into your story filing system and delete as much wire copy as you can. Either open it, delete it and save it that way, or just move it into the delete queue.