Labor Day

This Monday, while everyone is dashing off to the lake or firing up the grill for one last summer cook out, I hope you'll take a moment or two to remember the true meaning of Labor Day and thank your mother for all the pain and discomfort that she went through while she was bringing you into this world.

 

Fnord?

 

Queef?

 

Working on a day off, which means double-time and a half, plus an extra day off. I'll take it.

 

You mean Labour Day, right?

 

Highlighting the Communist Revolution? Hell yes, comrade! I'm painting my front porch red and I'm running down the street with a hammer and sickle.

 

You mean that phony baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gansters?

 

I'm in an interesting position, because my dad is a union truck driver, and there's no question he's made more money because of it. On the other hand, my brother got laid off by one employee because of union seniority rules when his company was cutting positions. Personally, I'm not a fan. So I'm working Monday. I'm not so anti-union that I'm turning down the holiday pay that I'll get, though. Full of fail, I am.

 

Fail nothin'. I'm working Monday and getting regular pay for it. The fail, my friend, is firmly on me.

 

Um, I'll be working. Thanks for asking.

 

I'll be laboring away that day. I get Sunday off, though.

 

My wife may very well be in labor on Labor Day. She hopes, at least.