Kids, their disgusting table manners and neglectful parents

Most of that (about the actual eating of food) was arrogant horseshit.

 

If you chew with your mouth open, talk with food in your mouth or smack your lips when you eat it really gets on my nerves.

I have not asked women out for seconds dates over this.

My wife has a habit of trying to saw through the plate when she cuts something. The inevitable screech on the plate with the knife will draw a small response from me.

One of my bad habits is when we have a big family style dinner and the food is being passed around the table, I get mad when 2-3 items are just logjammed at one person.

I am ready to eat, darn it, pull your head out of your backside!!!

Oh, turn your phone off in the restaurant. If it's on, send a text maggage.

 

In the classic WWII movie "One of Our Aircraft is Missing," that was a clue for the Gestapo as they tracked the downed British flyers trying to escape back to England -- they switched the fork while eating. (Or didn't; I forget. Whatever they did, it was the opposite of the norm for the country they were in.)

 

Just about everyone I know does this. One friend said she wants to be able to eat like I do (not switch) hands, because it looks more "elegant" but she can't get the hang of it, which makes no sense to me.

 

Wait...people DON'T switch hands?

I hold the fork in my left and the knife in my right to cut...but I eat with my right hand. I've never noticed anyone NOT doing that.

 

People are divided down the middle here, depending on their upbringing.

My father always switched hands, my mother never did. I never switch but some of my siblings do.

Europeans don't switch.

 

I'm pretty proud of my kid's table manners. Then again, our two main rules are 1. Keep your butt on the seat and 2. No loud noises.

Taught her to put the napkin on her lap about 6 months ago, and she does that now without any prompting. I still cut up all her meat for her.

Because we have a kid we often get seated next to other people with kids. It drives me crazy when they're screaming at one another and climbing under the table.

We made sure our kid would never act like that little over a year ago. We were at IHOP and she was being grouchy and obnoxious. She wouldn't stop so we just went home. Left everything there.

Now if she even thinks about acting up, we say 'Remember IHOP?' Shuts her up every time.

 

What is the reason?

 

I typically eat one section of food -- like, say, my mountain of Thanksgiving stuffing -- before starting on the other.

Weird? Not really. Does it annoy the bejesus out of everyone at the table? Hell yeah.

 

Lord

Read up about the knife hand.

 

I think I love you.

I eat all my fries, then my burger, then slaw or whatever.

 

One of my kids does that.
He eats his veggies, potatoes or rice first and saves the meat ("the best part") until last.