Kids say the darndest things

We were in Washington two summers ago, which would have made little ID four....after an afternoon of trucking around memorials and the museum of natural science, she proclaims, "I'm tired of bones, I"m tired of gems, I'm tired of learning. I want to go back to the hotel and watch TV."

 

Spnited ran out to get peaches and doesn't know why.

 

God, that's funny. I think we have the early leader in the clubhouse.

 

That's pretty funny, but my vote's still with Little Shockey's "Nice fuckin' throw!" Still laughing at that one.

BTW, I love this stuff. Keep it going. Until today, my fave had been pointed out a few weeks ago in some J school graduation speaker's text. He had once answered his young daughter's query about what he does with some sort of description of journalism, only later to overhear her tell someone he was in "gerbilism."

 

Our daughter had two such instances that came to mind:

1. She and her mother are in a grocery checkout line, behind a guy my wife said was easily pushing 400 pounds. The little one, then perhaps 3 years old, looks at the guy and then asks her mother (loudly): "Why is that man so fat?"

He said nothing, but gave my wife a dirty look.

2. At roughly the same age, she is cycling through some Barney VHS tapes one day. A few of them are stacked on top of a short chest of draws. She reaches for one she wants, but it's under another tape. As she grabs the tape she wants, the other falls and bonks her right on the head. I look over just as this is happening, and just as she yells, "Dammit!"

Yes, by that time she'd watched a few too many Cleveland Browns games with her dad.

 

I just hope you all don't blame your children when they get in trouble at school for repeating the things they hear you say.

 

Apparently, when my sister was around 2, she was at the grocery store with my mom and tucked into the basket facing back toward my mom. Suddenly she started shrieking crying. My mom asked her what was wrong and she pointed at the woman standing behind her and bawled, "Why is that woman so ugleeeeeeeeee?"

Yes, my mom was mortified.

 

This exchange happened today:

Me: Who is the best football team ever?

Little Man: The Texans!

Me: Who is going to win the Super Bowl this year?

LM: The Texans!

(A long moment of silence ..... wait for it .....)



LM: Is that true?

ME: No.

LM: Oh.

(Another long moment of silence .....)


LM: Who is the best Aunt ever?

ME: Who?

LM: YOU!

And, then I know that it will all be OK, even if the Texans don't make it to the playoffs this year.

 

Awesome.

 

Growing up in Richmond, VA our family spent a few weekends strolling through historic Hollywood Cemetery. Great view of the James River. And some dull Civil War lectures from my Dad on what were otherwise generally pleasant days. One summer we had grandparents visiting, and as we are driving through downtown Richmond, my dad turns to my four year old sister and says, (with grandparents in the car), "Where should we take Grandma and Grandpa today?" Sister stews on this for a moment and reports back, "Let's take them to the cemetery. You can bore them to death."

 

Coming in a little late our little guy, who is now 5, nearly caused me to drive off the road on our way home from McDonald's as he was holding his Happy Meal in his lap. He came up with this gem:

"Daddy, if they make Happy Meals do they also have Sad Meals?" ;D

 

Our 30-month-old son today walks into the kitchen to request I start one of his favorite programs on the DVR.

I head into the living room, only to find the remote missing.

"Where'd the remote go?," I ask, searching the couch and floor around it.

"Where'd it go?" my son repeated, as he shrugged his shoulders.

I repeated my question and my son began to put his hands over his mouth and laugh.

"It's hidin' " he said as he walked over to to the coffee table where a wooden box stood, in which he had stashed the clicker.

Damn little trickster.