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Kids say the darndest things

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Ashy Larry, Jul 1, 2009.

  1. Ashy Larry

    Ashy Larry Active Member

    Ok....someone a few blocks over is lighting firecrackers, my 2 1/2 year old asks "what's that noise daddy!!???" It's firecrackers.

    Thirty minutes later, more firecrackers.........he yells "Momma....FIRECOOKIES!!!!!!"


  2. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    BWUHAHAHAHAHA! I can appreciate that.
  3. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    This could be a fun thread with all the parents of young'uns we have around here.

    I'll contribute from my house. This goes back many years, my daughter was three and her mother and I went away for the weekend with Grandma coming to babysit. Come Sunday, we are not yet home and Grandma says to my daughter "I wonder where they are"?

    My daughter looks her right in the eye and says, "they're probly havin' sex Grandma".

    We have no idea where she would have gotten the idea, and we never pushed it. But to say that Grandma was a bit taken aback would be severely understating it.
  4. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    My parents told me when I was little and I sneezed, I asked my mom to wipe the "god bless you" off my face.
  5. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    when little man shockey was 4, the rangers won the stanley cup. he was euphoric watching sportscenter the next morning.

    "daddy, daddy!!" he excalimed. "the rangers won the standing cup!" ;D ;D ;D

    well, it does sorta stand,, no?

    oops, almos forgot: when little man was 6, we were at a friend's house. playing in the yard, an errant fribee toss landed in a tree. so we grabbed a football and tried knocking down the frisbee by throwing the football at it.

    my attempt didn't come close to hitting any part of the tree or its branches. a little voice from the side says, in perfect sarcastic disdain, "nice fuckin' throw." ::) ::) ::)

    clearly he'd watched too many games on tv with his dad and his dad's buds.
  6. Wenders

    Wenders Well-Known Member

    For the record, my name is Wendy. For the longest time, my cousin Abby couldn't get her tongue around the d, so she called me Winnie. Plus, if my mother (Mary) was with me and she was talking really fast, she'd call us Winnie and Minnie.

    Now, her younger brother Chase calls me names that are similar to mine. I've been called Cindy, Mindy, etc.

    I love both of them to death. The thing I love most is getting to hand them back to their mother. :p
  7. kokane_muthashed

    kokane_muthashed Active Member

    My youngest son calls marshmellows marmuscles for some reason.

    Also this:
    His mother was reading about Ed McMahon dying and she kept saying, "What the ... What the ...?" My son walks over to her, and trying to help out, says, "Fuck?"

    I just shook my head with my hand on my forehead.
  8. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    A story to tell his grandkids in 2054....
  9. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Took my 3-year-old to the driving range for the first time yesterday. I hit one sideways and she immediately said "Tiger Woods is better than you."
  10. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    The day Michael Jackson died, I sat down at the computer with my daughter in the room and saw the story. She saw that I was surprised and asked me what happened. I pointed to the (recent) picture on the computer and told her that he was a famous singer who died.

    "He doesn't look like a boy, daddy."

    Once I stopped laughing, I found her a picture of him from the '80s.

    "He still doesn't look like a boy, daddy."

    Then I found a picture of him from the Jackson 5 days.

    "(Giggles) What did he do to his hair, daddy?"
  11. BB Bobcat

    BB Bobcat Active Member

    I may have shared this before, but it's still one of my all-time faves.

    Little Bobcat was about 2. We had been leaning on him to eat fruits and vegetables, or "growing foods," as we called then. One day he finally relented and ate some peaches. That night he's in the bathtub and notices that his little solider has come to attention. He was sort of puzzled by this. Finally, a light bulb goes on and he says:

    "Daddy, my peepee grew because I ate peaches!"
  12. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Two stories about my oldest:

    When he was 4, I took him grocery shopping. We're in the checkout line with a bunch of stuff when I ... broke wind. I tried to be discreet about it, but my son yelled, 'Daddy, you have to check the potty, right now! You have to go poopie!" in front of everyone.

    I tried to tell him I could wait until after checkout, but he was insistent. Still, I got the groceries paid for, with a bit of embarrassment.

    Second story, when the oldest was 5, he made a calendar in kindergarten class and brought it home in January. We put it on the fridge.

    He shows his grandfather (my dad) the calendar very proudly. My dad asks him, "What comes after January?" hoping my boy would say "February."

    Instead, my son tells him, "Grandpa, don't you know you're supposed to just tear the page off?"
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