Keanu Reeves sued for $130 million

Okay, so a woman in Barrie, Ontario, Canada, doesn't actually know whether Keanu Reeves fathered any of her four children, now aged 20 to 25, but she still wants him to pay more than $37 million in child support, retroactive to June 1988.

And she also wants $93 million worth of spousal support dating back to November 2006.

His reps say Reeves has no idea who this woman is.

I wish I were making this up.

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/article/642316

With her children, aged 20 to 25, in post-secondary schools, Sala said she could use financial support to help them complete their education.

Sala said her children would like to know the truth about who their father is and she is launching the suit to seek "closure."

"They grew up with the ex's family always saying they weren't his, so they had to contend with that," she said.

In addition to the DNA test, Sala is seeking child support of $150,000 per month, retroactive to June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive to November 2006.

The only thing that would make this story better is being able to quote Reeves' reaction as:

 

No way the kids are Keanu's. Take a look at that man. No way he didn't finish on her grille.

 

I have a feeling he is not The One.

 

He can raise the money easily: Point Break 2

 

I'd like to sue him, too, for The Matrix.

 

You should see if you can find a way to sue him for this season of 24, too, dickhead.

 

i clicked on the link and expected to be sent to the Onion or something.

 

No way, it's for real. Like I said, I wish I were making it up.

The story says the woman is acting as her own lawyer. It fails to mention what seems to be obvious, that no lawyer with an actual current licence to practice would come within 100 yards of the case.

 

Is he even old enough to father a kid that old?

 

FIXED

 

I would pay $130 million for that.

 

His costar has some ... issues that make time of the essence. So if you could pay that up front, that would be great.

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