Katie Baker, The Confessions of a Fomer Adolescent Puck Tease

Ah, the wonders of pre-2000 internet.

I was 13 in 1997 and my parents had just bought the computer that would ultimately lead to my mother meeting a man in Indiana and, eventually, ruining her marriage with my father.

But, boy was that fun.

I still remember chatting on AOL with some "girl" under the handle "princesszh". We talked for hours on end about absolutely nothing at all and since I had ZERO social skills, particularly with women, it was nice to be able to pretend like I was some smooth-talking internet pimp thanks to the anonymity of the interwebs.

In between, of course, going into chat rooms with my brother and cousins and pretending we were women who wanted to "cyber" with someone, waiting for the moment when they said something dirty and revealing "Oh my god, we're dudes! You're such a fag!".

My favorite story about life on the net, though, is also my saddest and most pathetic.

About a month before I started high school, I met a couple of people on AOL who were also incoming freshman to my school. One girl, Christina DeRita, seemed super sweet and nice and we talked, on end, for what seemed like days. I was so excited because I figured I'd meet this girl and we'd become boyfriend/girlfriend because, well, I was an idiot and didn't understand how high school was going to change everything about everyone right from the jump.

Fast forward to my first week of high school and that entire group of people I met online had clearly not been impressed with me and were getting to run in a different social circle. Suddenly Christina wouldn't even talk to me because, as she put it, I was a geek and all of the people I had spent a good portion of my summer with made fun of me and refused to let me in their social group.

Though I didn't know it at the time, it was a nice learning experience about the difference between life on the internet and life in the real world. I may have been cool in the latter but I couldn't overcome that in the former.

It also made life all the more sweeter when I got to college and finally did get over the social hangups I had before. Heck, it's probably a big reason I developed as many friendships as I did in college, with all the other people who experienced the same social awkwardness I did in high school, and since college led to me finding the woman I would marry, I guess I am happy to have had to endure those awkward first weeks of high school where it seemed like my entire "life" was crumbling.

 

Is it just me, or have we had a lot of, "I was a socially inept teen" confessionals on this site lately?

I wonder if people were actually more popular than they thought they were. I think everyone is wickedly insecure in high school, and it might taint their memories.

 

How many teens aren't socially inept?

 

Ha. Exactly.

 

Those people drive me fucking nuts. I *earned* my social outcast status. The "I was a nerd because my 5 good friends weren't all on the Homecoming Court and several of my girlfriends weren't cheerleaders" brigade can get off my angst-ridden lawn.

 

Being a socially inept adult is where it's at.

 

The little faker should blow the guy in the Flyers hat as a courtesy.

 

She's legal now.

 

Oh, I earned my status as pathetically inept socially.

10th grade: Italian class. I had a crush on this cute girl sitting a few rows over. Rather than, you know, talk to her, I passed her a note after class because I was so shy asking her out. She tore it up and laughed in my face. The rest of the class made fun of me.

11th grade: Valentine's Day. My school was selling roses for some stupid thing I can't remember. Anyway, I wanted to have a valentine that year so I bought a rose for this girl I had talked to for a while who I was absolutely certain would be thrilled just to talk to a person of the opposite sex. Suffice to say, she was not the most attractive woman ever. I gave her the rose, she declined and tossed it.

Hmm, what else? Ahh, yes. Spent two weeks trying to avoid getting in a fight with this kid Aaron despite him humiliating me in front of all our classmates whenever he got the chance. He called me out for my shitty shoes, my shitty haircut, my poor hygiene and all I could do was turn beat red and take it.

Now, to be fair, I've changed a hell of a lot since then. Now, I don't think twice when talking to women and, after a rough first year of college, had no trouble introducing myself to them/"spitting game" and I would certainly kick the crap out of that kid that made fun of me but then? Back then? Yeah, I was about as socially awkward as they came.

 

You've probably upgraded your shoes.

 

Actually, those are about the same. I wore Nikes back then, still have a pair of Nikes today plus a pair of boots that I like to wear that my coworker hates.

Haircut is much better though and the personal hygiene is better, too. (Honest!).

 

Most of us get over it. I was awkward around girls until college. It helped that I liked going to plays, art exhibits, lectures, sports, and plenty of other things that helped break the ice around girls.