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Just to get this on the record ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by HejiraHenry, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    If you seriously want to fuck with him, don't slash his tires. Let the air out until it's about halfway. When he gets the flat and fills it up with air on the way home (go about 15-20 psi and he'll be able to drive on it, but will feel the wobble from the flat), do it again. And again. And again. Make him think there's a leak. If he tries to repair it, there's nothing to repair and he not only looks foolish, but becomes frustrated and agitated. Rotate your flattenings if desired, although it may be a tipoff. Repeat until new tires have been purchased.
    Note: This may take some creative stalking. Use caution.
     
  2. Armchair_QB

    Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

    But you could help him pay a visit to an oral surgeon. It might make you feel better.
     
  3. OnTheRiver

    OnTheRiver Active Member

    Piss puck, followed by an upper decker.

    Next problem, please.
     
  4. forever_town

    forever_town Well-Known Member

    If you think you have problems getting laid, he probably hasn't had any since the Civil War.
     
  5. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    I may have to use that one in the future. That's classic.
     
  6. Mr. Homer

    Mr. Homer Member

    Just trying to help
     
  7. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Careful that there are no little cameras in the parking lot.
     
  8. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Please. you think a newspaper pays for cameras to protect its employees?
     
  9. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    Put a horse head in his bed.

    If coming up with a horse carcass to use for this purpose is problematic, start smaller.

    Perhaps a roadkill possum or raccoon in/on his car.

    At the very least a dead hamster in his desk drawer.
     
  10. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    Hmmm ... then, if they're quality tires, you go buy them at the knockoff price. If he sees them and asks about it, you say, "Yeah, Spike down at Rodeway Tires said some idiot thought something was wrong with them and bought a completely new set."
     
  11. HejiraHenry

    HejiraHenry Well-Known Member

    Did you realize ... and I did not until I got the annotated Godfather script for Christmas ... that it was a real horse head in the bed? Stunk like a sumbitch, apparently.
     
  12. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    If he wants to go to the well, I'm waiting. He'll rue the day.
     
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