"Junior..there's no way....NO WAY.....that you came from my loins"

The free TV version is hilarious in its own way, with the fake Jackie Gleason voice saying "scumbum" whenever he says "sumbitch," which is about 1,254 times.

 

"Daddy.......my hat fell off"

"Good......I hope your gawd-damm head was in it"

 

I learned a few words from Wierd Science, I was six when it came out and watched it for the first time a few years later.

 

He sure had a lot of friends, didn't he Daddy?

 

"Read it and weep."

No idea what movie it was from...I was 3 or 4...and thought it was "read it and weed."

 

Stand By Me. I learned many back then, and I learned even more when I watched it many years later.

 

I don't know about movies, but I was reading the Book Of Lists as a kid and there was a list about chastity belts. Dumbfounded, I went and asked my dad ...

... what a chastity belt was ...

... out loud ...

... in front of all of the relatives on my mom's side of the family...

... during Thanksgiving or Christmas.

It was one of the times where the room coincidentally went silent when I asked, so I might as well have been advertising it over a P.A. system.

To this day, the loud laugh my aunt let go almost spit take style haunts me. There have been very few moments in my life where I've been more mortified.

 

When I was in high school, my parents went to the movies one Friday night. I don't know which movie they saw, but the next morning at breakfast, my mother asked "What's a c**t?" My dad and I immediately lost it. Apparently that had been a featured word in the movie they'd seen. My mother got really pissed because we were both laughing so hard and so long until my father explained what it was. I don't think I've laughed that hard since then.

 

I can remember getting in BIG trouble for singing "Like a Virgin," and at the time I didn't even know what I'd done wrong.

 

Junior: "What was that, Daddy?"

Buford T: "A little flyshit."

Love the scene in the diner when Buford leaves with the toilet paper snagged on his gun.

"Tit turd" made me laugh out loud, as did, "possum's pecker"

 

If you were born between 1969 and 1974, chances are, the James Bond opus Octopussy caused a problem with your mom at some point.

 

When the elder Princesscreole was 3, she was playing with her dolls and started scolding one of them. She then said sternly: "You DON'T say 'bomb' on airplane!"

And then to complete the scene, she speaks on behalf of her doll: "Bomb, bomb, bomb!"

I could feel Queencreole's glare.