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Juco gamer.

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by nicnameks, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. nicnameks

    nicnameks New Member

    Dudes, just wanted to get some feedback on some of my work. I'm entering my fourth semester as a journalism student, and have been writing for the paper for the entirety of that time (though only about half of the work has been covering sports.

    For a little more background I am currently majoring in print journalism in Juco and will be majoring in convergent media starting next fall at a four year school.

    Here it is.

    HCC runs past Ravens in fourth quarter
    November 11, 2011
    By Nic Wahl
    Short memories, second chances, staunch defense and a balanced rushing attack enabled the Hutchinson Community College football team (7-2, 5-1) to turn a fourth quarter deficit into a 42-17 road win over Coffeyville (6-3, 4-2), at Veterans Memorial Stadium October 29.

    In a game that would determine home-field advantage for Sunday’s Nov. 6 Region VI semifinal game between these same two teams, it looked like HCC would be making a return trip to Coffeyville for a majority of the chilly October night.
    With just over five minutes remaining in the third quarter the two teams had clashed in a tough, physical brand of football that had resulted in a 14-6 Coffeyville lead.
    Freshman wide receiver and return man Jatavious Stewart trotted out near the HCC 35-yard line waiting for Red Raven Justin Hamacher to punt.
    Hutch had moved the ball effectively utilizing a “wildcat” offensive package that would eventually see four different Blue Dragons take the snap from center, but like the previous week’s game against Butler, mistakes and turnovers squelched multiple scoring chances.
    Stewart had been the culprit of two of those miscues. Early in the first half Stewart had taken a “wildcat” snap and fumbled while running near the Coffeyville 25-yard line.
    His second and most costly mistake saw him make the errant decision to field a punt at the HCC 2-yard line, muffing it and setting Coffeyville up with first-and-goal at the 2. An eventual quarterback sneak by Najee Tyler put the Red Ravens on top 14-6 with 12:57 to go in the third quarter.
    Stewart wouldn’t let this punt hit the turf.
    He took it at the HCC 34 and moved to his left, following some big blocks before streaking up the sideline for a 66-yard touchdown return that pulled the Dragons to within two at 14-12.
    Sophomore quarterback Elliot Alford hit freshman receiver Miguel Johns for the two-point conversion and the ballgame was tied at 14.
    “It meant a lot to me,” Stewart said. “Usually when someone messes up they get someone else back there, but they kept confident in me and kept me back there.”
    Coffeyville took advantage of two big pass plays on the ensuing drive before the HCC defense clamped down, stopping a Coffeyville first-and-goal from the HCC 7, and forcing a field goal. HCC was down 3, but momentum had swung in the Blue Dragons' favor.
    Then someone opened the floodgates.
    Alford hit Stewart for a 47-yard score. Freshman Terrell Lane, who had been battling injuries for much of the season, rumbled and weaved his way to an 85-yard touchdown run. Sophomore Cordarrelle Patterson, took a “wildcat” snap 62-yards on a sweep, outrunning the Coffeyville defense for the score.
    “Once we got that lead, once we got that touchdown we got the momentum,” said freshman linebacker Tim Edmond. “We got a big stop, it was pretty much, we realized we weren’t going to get held up anymore.”
    HCC had turned a three-point deficit into an 18-point lead in just under four minutes.
    “I’m just really proud of our guys for hanging in there,” said HCC head coach Rion Rhoades. “I just told them it was good mental toughness on our part.”
    The Blue Dragons weren’t done. Putting a feather in his cap after a dominating performance in which he tallied 20 total tackles, Edmond picked off a Coffeyville pass and took it 24 yards to the Coffeyville 33-yard line.
    Two Terrell Lane rushes later — a 24-yard gain and a 9-yard td run ­— HCC lead 42-17.
    “It felt good to be able to feel like I’m back to close to 100 percent,” Lane said. “Like I’m back to playing like I should be playing.”
    The Blue Dragons won’t be heading back to Coffeyville anytime soon, a fact Edmond welcomed with open arms.
    “It’s always better to stay at home. It really is. Nobody wanted to come back here,” he said.
    HCC will host Coffeyville Sunday, Nov. 6 in the Region VI semifinals. Kickoff is set for 1:30 p.m. at Gowans Stadium.
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