JRC announces layoffs; release the hounds!

Yeah, all three have columns written in the last three days -- Hawkins, Langlois and Matt Foley, motivational speaker

 

Word has it Langlois has scared up a new job in corporate PR.

As a parting shot, the Billy-Bob Bushleague management has assigned him to write a series of columns on Tiddlywink Tech High School's junior varsity girls' badminton team.

Because, you know, readers would rather read about that than the Tigers, or Michigan football. No sirree sir. The reader on the street just can't get enough of Tiddlywink Tech High School girls' badminton. All local, all the time.

My News. My Paper.

For me to poop on.

 

Again, I ask: Revenues have sank, stock price has fallen, papers are on the block.

How much longer can JRC stay together in its present form?

 

Well, since Jelenic was the financial wizard who helped steer Ingersoll, JRC's misbegotten bastard parent company, straight into the ground in a ball of flames 15 years ago, undoubtedly he has some escape-from-the-bunker strategy all planned out.

Hopefully it involves a pistol in the mouth and a heaping helping of cyanide capsules. If he has any left after feeding them to his employees.

 

Another former OPer and I, from different eras, were reminiscing about what a good place it was to start a career: somewhat disorganized but scrappy. A fun place to work, as long as you weren't worried about things like certainty of having a pension or other silly details.

The stuff going on there now just makes me sad. We weren't quite a big-league sports section back in the day, but we were certainly high AAA-ball.

JRC has totally divorced this newspaper from all connections it had with the community. I've seen a lot of weird stuff in this business, but nothing quite on this scale. It makes absolutely no long-term business sense.

 

The Michigan Press Association awards are out. The OP (and other Michigan cluster papers) won all sorts of awards for editorial excellence. Almost all due in large part to people they have whacked or run out of town in the last couple of months.

They've been replaced by handpicked JRC stooges and canned columns from Anne Coulter.

 

I can't believe they will be along much longer. Not at that stock price. Probably go into bankruptcy and end up selling its major assets like the New Haven Register (only paper worth saving in the Northeast corridor owned by them).

How do you get so rich, being so bad at your job?

 

Next question: Who will buy those papers?

Only logical solution would be a McClatchyization of the chain along the lines of the Knight-Ridder breakup.

 

The exact same three graphs can be said for any JRC paper pre-Jelenicization.

And whenever the JRC gets sold, it'll make a fucking fortune because Jelenic has monopolized the market just about everywhere. They will be a very attractive target if they are sold.

I'm not sure where the JRC will end up, but as lapdog noted, Jelenic--the biggest turd in this industry--was the only Ingersoll sack of shit to survive that wreck. I'm sure he'll land on his feet while the rest of his hard-working minions end up broke.

I hope every JRC suit burns in hell.

(PS: Sorry slappy but my wireless was down)

 

Problem is, BYH, no big company seems to have the resources to buy their sack of shit papers.

McClatchy? Just swallowed another big whale.
Tribune? You kidding me?
Gannett? Doubtful, given the market.

The papers will have to be sold piecemeal, which means it will be a slow and painful process -- and likely eliminating a cushy landing for Jelenic.

 

Know a guy who got canned today ... from a pharma sales job. He took the gig about 6 months ago ... company car, work from home, sweet, sweet money (80k plus bonus means about 95k a year).

Today, a bunch of people were called - out of the blue - on a conference call with the CEO, and at the end of the call, the CEO goes, 'if you're on this phone call, you have six weeks severance, we have to let you go.'

Guy said he thinks he heard at least three phones drop. Went to his wedding earlier this year ... they just bought a house.

Save, save, save, people. Fuck that 50-inch TV.

 

Drug dealing pays very well and has good legs. My good friend's sister and a girl from my HS class both deal in pharmaceuticals.

Your friend should land on his feet fairly quickly.