JPMorgan Loses $2B on Synthetic Credit Securities

Whoops. Can we finally stop hearing about how brilliant of a CEO Jamie Dimon is now?


http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-05-10/jpmorgan-chase-says-cio-unit-suffered-significant-loss.html

 

Don't forget his dynamic zeal in helping JPMorgan drive the Zell-Tribune deal to completion --- despite 23,000 red flags along the way --- with the prospect of a fraudulent conveyance decision still hovering over the whole mess.

 

“In hindsight, the new strategy was flawed, complex, poorly reviewed, poorly executed and poorly monitored,” Dimon said.

 

In before "rogue trader" is dropped as an excuse.

 

From the comments, god I hope this is true:

William Feader 9 minutes ago Collapse

JP is short 5 billion ounces of silver. If silver goes past 50 their losses will be in the tens of billions of dollars and they will have to cover.

Even if you only have 40 bucks to spare, buy an ounce of silver and help put this monster out of business.

 

“These were egregious mistakes,” Mr. Dimon said on the call. “They were self-inflicted and this is not how we want to run a business.”

dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/05/10/jpmorgan-discloses-significant-losses-in-trading-group/?hp

 

Way to go, alphabets, you're gonna get the Net crashed

 

Here comes the summer economic collapse, right on schedule.

Good thing (a) Dimon earned all those millions he was paid (hi, Ragu!) and (b) Obama tried to keep Wall Street sweet by bringing Timothy Geithner and Lawrence Summers into his cabinet, who, in return, made sure "too big to fail" was never acted upon.

 

What the frick is a synthetic credit portfolio? What a fuckhead Jamie Dimon is.

 

And who got left holding the bag? The employees who were told they could trade in their retirement plans for "ownership" in the company.

 

I don't know but they found it in a sample of Ryan Braun's urine.

 

Seriously. If the CEO deserves tremendously high pay when things are accomplished, surely he must be held responsible when things go wrong.

Otherwise, it's just another version of privatizing the gains and socializing the losses.