Job/life advice

I couldn't disagree more. You're function, as husband-to-be, is to problem-solve and suggest solutions.
When discussing these types of the things, the woman wants the man to diagnose the the situation aloud and state the best course of action.
That's what discussion is all about.

 

Exactly. I got married 5 years ago, and we live 3.5 hours from my parents, 4.5 hours from hers. Her mom/grandmother are big homebodies who will never leave their tiny community and think everyone in their extended family should live there, but they got used to us moving away and it's not too far to visit.

Her fatass aunt, who lives in Atlanta, and "has a gift of prophecy" basically told her she was wrong to get married and it would be bad not being so close to family, and more stuff. Made her cry, never apologized.

So far, we're doing fine. Come to find out before I got married that if my parents hadn't moved away from their hometown (where my mom worked with her parents AND had to visit them every weekend), to a place 3 hours away, they'd have never made it. They'll celebrate 31 years in August.

So the support system argument is usually bull. YOU are her support system, and you can make friends through church, work, social gatherings, etc.

 

It's been alluded to here, but realize that every relationship is different and what ticks for one would wreck another. You have to find your happy medium and figure out what sacrifices work for both of you. Especially at the start don't tie yourself down with any specific idea of success. You can always tweak the plan.

Support systems are great, but you can also grow your own wherever you are. I never thought I'd leave home and now 10 years, four states and five cities later, most of which has occurred after marriage, I think we're much better and stronger for experiencing different places, people and opportunities. In fact, we're about to move closer to home in a few months and it kind of scares me, especially with two kids now, what it will be like being so close to that original support system.

More than likely in 10 years you won't be exactly where you thought you'd be -- professionally, physical location, relationship wise, whatever -- so find what makes your relationship tick and go with that no matter what.