Jewish People, Are You Annoyed by Christmas?

Everyone's heard of Christmas in July. What about the Fourth of July in December? Hot dogs!

 

Jello shots. They don't necessarily have to be red and green.

 

The Christmas bits in the New Testament are really short. Ten minutes tops.

Linus does the best part on CB Christmas.

 

Lugz, my friend:

Your new friends should be thrilled to come over...anyone who is 'annoyed by Christmas' should stay home because you wouldn't want to hang out with them anyway.

Growing up, my mother told me not to sing Silent Night because it had the lyrics 'Christ the Savior is born.' I think we've come a long way since then, as most schools now defer to Rudolph and Let it Snow without getting deeply religious.

Most Jewish people understand that Christmas is a national holiday. I love the season, the lights, the trees, the whole thing. It's not a religious deal for me, obviously, but I love going to my friends' Christmas parties, decorating their trees, etc. I love celebrating with Boom and his family.

Don't overthink this. You can have a great 'holiday' party without the religious connotation.

That said, though, lemme just say it is really hard to find wintery holiday stuff that's non-denominational. I give a lot of Christmas gifts, but as a Jew, I try to find the snowman/winter stuff that doesn't feature Christmas trees and creches and santas. It just seems disingenuous to me.

 

BTW, Lugs, have some dreidels in the house. Buy lots of gelt (those chocolate coins for the non-Jews ) and play dreidel! Or playing dreidel drinking games; if it lands on "shin" you have to take two shots, if it lands on "hay" you have to drink half a beer, if it lands on "nuhn" nothing happens (or you can designate some kind of action, though "nuhn" means nothing), and if it lands on "gimmel" everyone has to down a shot. Basically, you get drunk uber-fast. One of the cool things about being a Jew is that for most holidays, drinking is encouraged.

 

You only make latkes when you are moving out of the house the next day. That oily potato smell is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

Seriously...there is nothing weirder than a non-Jew trying to do Jewish things. Just don't.

 

Whiskey sours.

 

So this is why my sister-in-law's cousin Cindy always insists on making them when she gets to our house instead of preparing them at home.