Jeremy Shockey

Though perchance for all we know, Shockey goes home, peels off the fake tats, feeds his yorkshire terrier, puts on some Wagner and perhaps reads a page from Ovid before fixing himself a rack of lamb with mint jelly and a bottle of fine zinfidel.

Or he crushes a 30-pack of Natural Ice, crams an ungodly horn of Cope into his left cheek and beats off to Shannon Tweed's Greatest Hits before passing out with the stereo blasting Scott Stapp's The Great Divide. Either or.

 

Trust me, it's the latter...Although he's not a Scott Stapp guy. More into Pantera.

 

Hmmm, since he went to Miami, my guess is...

 

If Shockey was actually a complete player who didn't go apeshit on his quarterback when he wasn't getting enough passes, I could care less who he was fucking or who he was listening to.

But he's not. Everyone who loves him convienently forgets that he was the reason the Giants blew that playoff game to the 49ers a few years ago. Everyone focused on the blown field goal and the bad snap, but somehow ignored that Shockey dropped a touchdown late that hit him right in the hands when he was standing all alone, probably dreaming about which direction he was going to flex after he caught it.

Shockey's the highest paid TE in the league, so I doubt the Giants can afford to trade him with such a big cap number. But it will be interesting to see what happens if he starts screaming at Eli next year on the sidelines.

 

My guess is that Shockey doesn't have the chache with the team to ever yell at Eli again. With Toomer either going to retire this year or next, and the emergence of Boss as a credible TE, the Giants would be well served to to go with a 2 TE set more often, Plax and Smith wide and Jacobs or Bradshaw or Ward as the sole back.

 

Pallister has no idea why he just bolted from the stands to attack a first base coach.

 

An adult sitting in a luxury box having drinks?

Gasp!

The horrors!

I do hope all those that are wagging their finger at the injured Giants' tight end have lived a pure life.

 

There is Diet Coke everywhere.

 

wow, a whimsical reference on SportsJournalists.com that i actually got! that's a rarity

great video ... sean landeta still gets a few bucks royalties every year

 

ABOUT DAMN TIME!
Were you people NEVER children?
Thanks, cane.

 

i am hurt, friends.

that is all. :'( :'( :'(

 

I thought that was Emenem on 'roids