Jeff Kent: one of my new favorite baseball players.

Fortunately, it's much easier to name all-class players than all-asshole players. There is a surplus of outfielders, but I'm still searching for a shortstop on the asshole team.

I'd love to say Derek Jeter, but aside from being vastly overrated (hi, ESPN!), he really isn't that bad a guy, is he?

 

Derek Jeter sold poison milk to school children.

 

That's good enough for me.

 

First you say you now have respect for him, now you're calling him a dickhead?

Make up your mind, Mr. Fail.

 

"Child abuse is funny."

 

Wicked: I just said I respected the hell out of him making the statement that he did, ulterior motives or not. Never said I'd want him to marry into my family or anything. It is possible to respect someone and at the same time, think he's an A+ asshole.

Oh, and my ADH-team:

SP - Roger Clemens
SP - Randy Johnson
SP - Kevin Brown
RP - Steve Howe (RIP)
RP - John Rocker

C - Michael Barrett
1B - Pete Rose
2B - Jeff Kent
3B - Scott Rolen
SS - Nomar Garciaparra
LF - Barry Lamar Bonds
CF - Ty Cobb
RF - Albert Belle
DH - Vince Coleman

MGR: Tommy Lasorda
1B Coach: Tony LaRussa
3B Coach: Ozzie Guillen
Owner: David Glass & Jeff Loria

Announcers: John Sterling & Suzyn Waldman

 

Nice list. My only objection is Nomar. Aside from sitting on the Red Sox bench during the Yankees series, while the rest of his teammates were standing in the late innings, what has he done? I could very well be missing something.

 

And for your announcers, I'd think about adding Keith Hernandez. Sterling and Waldman aren't dickheads, per se. They're just shitty. My man Keith is at least a total sexist (although he does get points for making out with Elaine).

 

Nomar is personal. Rolen, I can't think of a jerky 3B and I'm too tired to try hard. Guillen, he's a looney, so what the hey. And I put Sterling/Waldman in just to pile on. If there are more "qualified" players out there, by all means, list 'em. No skin off my back. I'm just gonna head off to sleep. Too much champagne & jaeger shots tonight. Yeesh.

 

Trust me, dude, there's no offense from our questions. But you can't just throw up a list and not have a couple folks chime in on it. And believe me, I'm still mad about Mia Hamm, too.

 

Touche.

 

Keith said something ridiculously stupid and uninformed about the female trainer in the dugout, but I've had extensive dealings with him and have never found him to be sexist.