Jealous of a man and his beard? This thread is not about Katie Holmes.

Dr. J has the best beard ever. Perfect length and it suits him well. He shaves it once or twice a year just to take a break.

Now I get to tell him he's a hipster.

 

I just wanted to give kudos for the thread title.

 

I can't grow facial hair for shit. An ex-girlfriend of mine once told me every man that has a beard looks better clean shaven. What do y'all think?

 

I grow one every year as a Stanley Cup playoff beard. I don't have a favorite team, so I pick a qualifier at random.

If the team lasts more than one round, the beard grows thick enough that I usually keep part of it. Two years ago, it became a Fu Manchu. This year, it has become a Lemmy beard. I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

 

Do you also have a playoff mole?

 

That's not a bad idea. Of course, I'd need the hat to go with it.

 

She was humoring you.

 

I have never tried to grow any semblance of facial hair. It would take me months to grow anything.

 

Not every man looks better cleanshaven. But most men do.

 

I was just kidding.

It varies from man to man. Some look better with; some without.

 

I've never even tried. On the few occasions where I've not shaved for a few days, it comes in so patchy.

It looks like the pelt of one of the abused animals Sarah McLaughlin cries about to a suicidally bleak dirge on local TV commercials.

I hate the feeling of stubble too, even when I get 5 o'clock shadow. I wish I had facial hair tear-offs, a la, open-wheel race drivers.

 

Considering this is my dad's beard



I am almost a little ashamed I can't grow a beard at 29. I am almost jealous of Crosby. Nothing joins up anywhere. Not in the middle of the mustache, not between the mustache and the chin and not between my patchy side burns and the mustache and chin. Surrounded by nothing I can grow a soul patch and a neck bead that dives straight back off my chin but doesn't extend out to the jaw line.

I tried to grow a mustache about 18 months ago out of boredom and it was just embarrassing. I gave it a month and quit. It wasn't long ago I could get away with shaving once a week. Now I'm at about every two days.