JDV - Your country needs your help

JDV, since you are super fit, a super genius and have experience playing rugby, could you please help the USA Eagles?

They've lost two matches in the Rugby World Cup. Sure, losing to England was expected, and they played closer than many thought they would. But today's 25-15 loss to Tonga is unacceptable.

You, JDV, can change all that. You can lead the US to rugby greatness ... or, at least, rugby better than averageness.

Help us JDV, you're our only rugby hope.

 

We need a super-cool playa.

 

A lady killa!

 

He's a sick ruby player with drop kicks that are off the chain!

 

Easy now, I'm not asking JDV to play. I'm asking him to coach or consult or be a talent scout. Something, anything to help USA Rugby.

 

Whatever

 

Scoreboard!

 

Isn't that rugby tournament overseas? Could we take up an SportsJournalists.com collection and send JDV? We may only have enough money for a one-way ticket, though.

 

How about train them and supply them with all the HGH they need?

 

He's super awesome... Just ask those intramural football players whose ass he kicked in football back in the day.

 

ABS + SCRUMS = TRIES

 

He can drive his custom Benzo there.