Jaws

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Worst idea EVER.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

For one week, I'd like to see them go without a PBP guy. Just let Kornheiser and Theismann (preferably Wilbon, though) riff during the entire game. The football fans will know what's going on and the folks watching in bars won't care. Just quit trying to recreate what you once had, because it isn't working.

Are there really THAT many people who get THAT much out of Tirico telling you it's 2nd and 10 when there's a fucking graphic on the screen already telling you that?

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Speaking of Favre-slobbering, I caught in passing Madden making a reference to how Rex Grossman does something-or-other like a Brett Favre. Of course, now I can't hear Madden without thinking of Frank Caliendo talking about lasanga being the "Brett Favre of pastas."

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

I'm with you, Bob. Every time I hear Madden say "Brett Favre," I hear Caliendo saying, "Brett Favre is Brett Favre. He does Brett Favre things."

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

From Kornheiser's Post column of July 13, 1990 on those who play Fantasy/Rotisserie baseball:

The proper way to end a conversation with a Roto Guy is by saying:
"Get a life."

Well said. Then and now.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Two more Kornheiser insights from that July 13, 1990 column:

"My problem is with the concept of Roto Ball.
It's techno-nerd.
Wise up, Roto-Maniacs. Celebrate sports, don't calibrate them.
Sports shouldn't be faxed. They should be played. If you can't play, watch. Or listen on radio.
Roto Ball doesn't demand you do anything except arrange numbers. If that's what drove baseball, they wouldn't draft infielders, they'd draft accountants. Roto Guys have no need to go to the ballpark."

"Roto Guys are the antithesis of sports. They're the decimal point brigade, the Info-cult of the 21st century, the wax works of western civilization.
Roto Guys have no souls."

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

I say we lead a movement to get Caliendo-as-Madden to be an announcer. You might be able to put him next to Al Michaels, and no one could tell the difference.

By the way, I heard Caliendo testing out his Bill Walton a while back on Mike and Mike. It's not ready yet, but it's not HOR-rible.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Playing fantasy sports is fine. Telling everyone about your team, no so much. No one cares.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

I was thinking the same thing, Junkie. There's no way TK has all these guys on his fantasy team. There's no way he even has a fantasy team. He doesn't even know the name of 80 percent of the players in the league. Can you imagine him sitting through a fantasy draft? No way. I think this is a subtle dig at fantasy geeks, a little shtick. Unfortunately, like everything else Kornheiser's done on MNF, it ain't funny.

As for putting him and Wilbon in the booth, I'm all for it. I don't understand why they put these three guys in the booth and hoped they would have chemistry, when they could have put two guys with obvious chemistry, Wilbon and Kornheiser, together. They could have been like Al McGruire and Billy Packer in the old days on college hoops. Stick Tirico or Nessler in there as a traffic cop, and you're set.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

But, in all honest, why the need for a traffic cop? I don't think you want anybody settling things down. Let the two of them go at it -- they're each intelligent enough, IMO, to do it without a third person who would look/feel incredibly out of place.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.

 

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Songbird,

Love the Smiths reference. My lone regret, musically, is never having seen them live.

LONDON (via Philadelphia)

Ball, fumbled through his fingers
Drive, thrown out the window
Do you think Reid made the right decision this time?

....
Left the football on the carpet
For the second time since this game started
Now Reid knows when Buckhalter blows
He really blows