Jason Tyner: Now 754 homers away from Aaron!!!

Someone check on Zeke and see if he's gone into a coma at his computer tonight. I see he's online, but Jason Tyner homered AND ZEKE HASN'T MENTIONED IT!!!! Zeke!!! The president and founding member of TwinkiesSportsJournalists.com! Jason Tyner, a Punch and Judy hitter in a steroid world, goes yard for the first time tonight after 1,221 career at-bats and Zeke doesn't mention it!

Congrats Jason Tyner! Most of SJ recognizes your immense feat, even if Zeke is ignoring it. Or worse.

Fun fact: At your current pace of one homer every 1,222 at-bats, it will only take you 923,832 at-bats to break Hank Aaron's record! Presuming you get 200 ABs a season, you will break the record sometime during the 6627 season!

Unless someone else comes along and breaks Hank's record, in which case I'll have to do all this math again.

Anyway, now that Tyner's drought is over, the spotlight is on his ex-team, the Mets, and their lack of no-hitter. Maybe they're next!

 

What a moment!

 

Ryan Sonner expected Jason Tyner.

 

Jason Tyner? Future of the Mets in 2001, Jason Tyner? Jason Tyner who has less pop than Rosie O'Donnell? The Jason Tyner?

Time to check the temperature in Hades and buy ice skates.

 

I tried futiley to post this very news, but my massive hard-on kept getting in the way.

 

Oh Zeke thank God you're all right!

You know, if you need an outlet for your woodie, I have a neighbor who likes it in the as....nah you're not her type.

 

You're saying she's got a penis?

 

Tyner now being openly mocked on Baseball Tonight.

This guy is Minnesota's DH some nights.

 

And no mention of my Twins fangirl looser-dom?

I'm hurt. :'(

 

you know, Rosie, I felt bad not mentioning you, because I think you're far less psycho in your fandom than Zeke the most loyal Twinkie fan here.

But Zeke has such a boner for Tyner (remember the sig bet w/Spnited?) that I just had to single him out. Please don't send me to my room. It's a pigsty up there.

 

Well, since I'm allegedly on vacation and only got to see about five at-bats of the game because no one in the group I'm with would let me sit in the bar to watch the game, something about we're all supposed to be together when we go out for supper, I'll let it go.

This time.

 

Tyner was actually spnited's choice.

When I crushed Hank in a sig bet (for a .500 team, the Twins seem to win when I make sig bets) he opted for Nick Punto.

Punto Power!