it's 'national autism week'...

This is spectacular.

 

Two rare things on this thread. You just said something I couldn't possibly agree with more and I find myself admiring the way Rick is handling the entire conversation.

 

That sounds like the next reality show on Spike.

"Get kicked in the nuts by an autistic kid." Hosted by Craig Kilborn.

 

Good luck with your kid. One of them worked for Amazon. That was the only one a bothered to try and find on Facebook. I could try and find more, but what's the point?

You can PM OOP and LTL for advice.

Best of luck.

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/posts/3217158/

 

What was that supposed to be about? He has a lot more information now then he had at that time.

Wow. All of one of the autistic kids you have worked with has a job. Well, that changes everything. You couldn't possibly be as ignorant and insensitive as you came across on this entire thread if one kid out of the 50-plus with autism has a job.

Thankfully, Rick at least knows better now than to ask you about anything.

 

If it's more than 5 out of 50, then it's either a statistical fluke or the population of autistic kids you worked with was far less impaired on average than my son is.

Accurately assessing my son's impairment when planning for his future is not an example of me failing to support his strengths and address his weaknesses, it is an example of me succeeding at it. And I do not have to sublimate my disappointment in his disability in order to be a properly supportive and loving father.

Parenting by platitude is not my style.

It's odd to think that I might have a better understanding of my son at 4.5 years than I had just past his second birthday, when he was subsequently diagnosed with a disability that is notable for the severe onset of developmental impairment between the ages of 2 and 5.

 

I think both Rick and 93Devil make good points and are coming at this from much different angles.

Only thing I'd add is that the early intervention strategies can really have a positive, profound impact on autistic children when they begin at an early age, sometimes to the point where even severely autistic children can function on a day-to-day basis.

Does it happen for every child? Of course not. It's a spectrum for a reason and some kids respond differently than others.

So I think it's good to maintain a realistic point of view on your child's abilities but still not discount that there are a lot of amazing therapies out there that can make a difference. And that while it seems hopeless now, you shouldn't keep fighting...you never know how you'll be able to reach and connect with your son. (I think that's all 93Devil was trying to make -- that it seems hopeless now but he's seen first hand the improvements that can happen).

And I say this as both a parent of a soon to be 4-year old autistic girl and someone who has spent time around autistic children my entire life (my mother is a long-time special educator who specialized in work in this field and there truly can be amazing improvements -- there's lots of research and documented case studies). Rick- If you haven't looked into ABA therapy, I'd highly recommend it. Schools will naturally fight you on it but it's been very helpful for my daughter -- we decided to pay for it out of pocket (through our insurance) to make sure she got it.

I also will preface that I am probably a parent who is a bit too optimistic about what I think my daughter will be able to achieve in life but I also don't think I should short change her based on how she is now -- she's barely 4 years old. Sometimes kids develop differently, even those on the spectrum. My daughter is also much more communicative and probably on the higher functioning scale than many others (though she does have many of the profound traits, hand flapping, toe walking, echolalia, her speech is definitely a year+delayed, significant fine motor delays, etc.).

Also thought this recent story was amazing. Have yet to pick up a copy but it's on my list of books to read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/09/magazine/reaching-my-autistic-son-through-disney.html?_r=0

 

My wife has worked with teens with autism for years (previously she worked with adults in a day program), and she consistently says the toughest part of the job is not the teens themselves, it is the parents. The teens she works with are on the more severe end of the spectrum, many are non-verbal, but she relays stories of parents who don't acknowledge the level of impairment, or in some cases seem to ignore it.

 

tiny dancer, absolutely agree with all that!

My son did ABA therapy for a year, but where we live now there's no longer any providers within driving distance. I learned as much of the techniques as I could myself to help keep it going, and he's starting to age out of the window where it's most critically effective, so I'm not sweating it too much. Our state made insurance coverage of ABA therapy mandatory, which was awesome.

Like I said: It's an *incredibly* hard balance to strike between not being in denial and giving your child every chance to succeed. The way I view it is simply that there's a new scale. When you have a kid, you imagine a normal scale of measuring life success: Get out of HS, go to college, get a career, raise a family of their own. When your child is autistic, there's a really good chance (although not certain, especially with the highest functioning types with little communication problems) that you can just throw that scale out the window. My son's on his own, customized scale, and I work hard with him every single day to help him advance on that scale toward a meaningful, happy life.

I absolutely encourage anyone who even suspects something might be wrong with their child along these lines to get them into an early intervention program. His first year of pre-school was especially amazing. Just like I note that you can't clinically deny that certain life goals are extreme long shots, there's also no denying that autism treatment has made incredible leaps in the last decade. This generation will have better results than could have been dreamed of twenty years ago.

 

What is wrong with people?

 

I could have written that.

 

1. Is it preferable to have other adults look the other way when something looks unusual with a child? I think I'd prefer a society where we look out for children, even to the point of over-reaction.

2. The police officers deserved none of that family's vitriol. They were not being assholes. They were doing their job, answering a complaint.