Its gonna snow hier in the South

Might actually get 2 inches, which I still shake my head at, not for the amount but the panic.
One of our prep crew told this story tonight, and I have no reason not to believe him being a preacher and all.
One of the local storm crew was interviewing people STOCKING UP BECAUSE THERE"S A STORM (TV assignment editors suck, but that's another story).
The TV geek was interviewing a woman outside of Lowe's -- a woman who, as the preacher said, looked like she should know better -- and asked her what she got for storm preparedness.
"Right here," she replied and pointed to her new -- wait for it -- vacuum. What are you going to do with that, she was asked.
"Aym gonna use that to clean the snow off the porch."

 

Re: Izz gonna snow hier in the South

What did her husband/daddy say?

 

Re: Izz gonna snow hier in the South

Nice.

Reminds me of the great "90-degree heat waves" I experienced while working in the Northeast this summer.

 

Re: Izz gonna snow hier in the South

My college roommate for two years (and still a great friend ... for a yankee) was from near Philly and laughed his ass off the 3-4 times per year snow was predicted in our Southern city and everyone scrambled for bread and milk like the end of the world was coming.

 

As I sit, curled up with my laptop and a quilt, with 60 below wind chills threatening outside (air temp is 20 below right now), all I can do?

Laugh hysterically. I can't help it.

 

Wow. It dipped below 40 (above zero) tonight, and I'm pissy about it.

 

This is as good a place as any to share this little gem I got from a friend yesterday:

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Duluth sunbathe. Note: I have pictures of this, but temps were in the 30s.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold. Actually, the cook outs never end. We'll be bbq-ing on Super Bowl Sunday.

Zero:
People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans put the extensions on their ice augers, & go fishing.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

 

I still remember spending a few days in Texas during a spate of winter weather and hearing news reports about SNOWSTORM '01.

The local news treated a dusting of snow like the ever-strong pimp hand of God.

 

We've been lucky here in North Texas. Been colder than a witch's tit relatively speaking (mid-teens) but no precip.

 

A witch's tit isn't that cold. I know because when I lived in Seattle the Bob Rivers Show had a witch on and took a temp reading of her tit.

The past few days in the metromess have been reminiscent of the weather in Cleveland the weekend of the Bills/Browns game. Except it's not snowing here [too bad]. It could stay like this forever and I'd be happy.

Rosie...was that list written by someone from Wisconsin?

 

Hope it was a ShopVac. That might mess up a real vacuum cleaner. Of course, if it does mess up the vacuum, she can just put it on the porch or in the front yard with the other nonworking appliances -- washing machine, fridge, massive satellite dish

 

I am so sick of cold weather.

Good friend of mine has a policy........First time the temperature gets to 20 degrees, his old ass is in Phoenix for 3 months.