Item of clothing you could not pull off

Come to think of it, there are very few items I CAN pull off ...

 

Anything with horizontal stripes.

 

Actually, you sound like the target demographic.

 

An attorney friend told me that the best way for a man to get out of jury duty is to show up wearing a bow tie.

 

Tin foil hat has always been good to me.

 

Skinny jeans, or leggings as pants - looks that are just too tacky for words.

Ballet flats.

 

I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing. What do you wear outside doing anything active? Do you wear khakis to mow, work on your vehicle, rake leaves, any number of other things?

I'm sure I could pull of a scarf but the world will never know. The one thing I can't pull off is a V neck shirt because I have a long neck. I can wear a V neck sweater vest, but I always have something under it.

 

Turtlenecks.

I have a similar upper body to bumpy mcgee's avatar (the "I <3 To Fart" guy), except maybe thicker, and a turtleneck makes that look quite grotesque.

 

How's that burka treatin' ya?

 

T-shirts. If it fits horizontally, it's too short vertically. If it fits vertically, it is a tent horizontally.

With pants, dress shirts, etc., you can get odd sizes if you are willing to search/pay for them. But the T-Shirt industry is strictly S, M, L, XL, XXL, and good luck finding that Utah Jazz Conference Championship T-Shirt in a tall size.

 

Leopard-skinned thong. No matter how many times I stand in front of the mirror telling myself it looks good, I know I'm just lying to myself. [/sarcasm]