Israel Should Be in Germany

Helen Thomas was just ahead of her time.

Incredibly, Gawker posted this today:



Israel and Palestine are warring again. Civilians are dying again. Families are losing their homes, and chaos persists. Again. This would not be happening if Israel were located somewhere that makes more sense: in Germany.

No matter where you stand in the "Israelis vs. Palestinians" political arguments—in which both sides are hopelessly entrenched and unmoving—it seems fair to acknowledge that there are some fundamental problems with the location of the nation of Israel. For one thing, it was carved out of land already occupied by someone else. Whether or not you think Israel was justified in carving itself a nation out of Palestine, you must admit that the act of doing so was bound to cause some resentment. And, indeed, it did. It caused a lot of resentment, and anger. Emotions that still exist today. And which have fueled a more or less constant state of war against Israel since Israel was created.

http://gawker.com/israel-should-be-in-germany-1609576782

 

"The Middle East was good in the beginning,
but then it went too far." -- Marge Schott.

 

So in order to correct the carving out of someone else's land ... we'll carve out someone else's land again.

Makes perfect sense.

 

They could just put the Wailing Wall and the Temple Mount on the Dead Sea and float it all up there.

 

Same as the USA, Canada, Mexico, etc. etc.

The lesson? Make sure your land grabs take place out of living memory.

 

Does Gawker have editors or any read the posts before they go up?

That piece shouldn't have seen the light of day. So dumb. So incredibly dumb.

 

I think Israel should move to within the USA. We've built Hollywood, Disneyland and Disney World, surely we can build a full size replica of Israel within Arizona or Utah and create peace on earth. ???

 

I liked the first comment: "This is one of the finest middle school essays I've ever read."

Exactly. This is the type of simplistic piece I probably would've thought sounded quite brilliant when I was 14 years old, but know is batshit stupid now that I'm a grown up.

 

Just move Israel to Manhattan and move Manhattan to Staten Island and then put the current Staten Islanders in NJ.

 

Eh, if changing history worked for the Winnipeg Jets and the Cleveland Browns ...

 

The congressional candidate's idea

From April: "Israel in Texas, y'all!"

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/posts/3761566/