Is there such a thing as getting a raise anymore?

My last shop gave us all money. I got $100, I think, and I'd been there less than a year.

I miss them.

 

And you felt all warm and gooey inside for having made the world a better place, didn't you?

 

I did. Oh, it's true.

 

Honestly, I've never worked at a place that gave a Christmas bonus. I didn't even know that was an option. Who am I, Clark Griswold?

 

Money for the swollen salaries of United Way executives.

I can execute my own charitable giving far more efficiently than those creeps.

 

Buddy at a family paper in SC got an extra paycheck for two weeks for a Christmas bonus last year. He loves his job.

 

Did I open the can of worms too soon? It's not even Halloween yet and stores are selling Xmas decorations and we're moping about Xmas bonuses. The "Christmas creep" theory is now fact.

 

My brother spent the summer before last working part time for a local lumber yard owned by a local family. They treated him great, paid him more than I make now, randomly handed out money to buy lunch with sometimes ... just great. Then he went back and worked like two days while he was on his Christmas break from school. They gave him a raise, and a $200 Christmas bonus.

Of course, he did work at a lumber yard ...

 

Is that lumber yard hiring now?

 

Last received a bonus in 2004, and I've gotten two in the last 10 years. That's not going to change with my latest job. I figure that cow long since left the barn, so get used to water instead of milk.

 

I was told I got one of the bigger raises in my department, although when I crunched the numbers, it added up to an extra latte at Starbucks every week. Then I really crunched the numbers and outsmarted everyone. Did you know a latte costs $3.50 at Starbucks, while an Americano costs $2.50. If you tell them to leave room, you can add your own milk and its the same as a latte. Bam! Take that suckas...