Is that a gun, or are you happy to be in the TSA line?

Every part of this post is hilarious.

 

This is ironic:

"He works as a video game journalist and as an actor with small roles in movies and television shows, according to his Internet Movie Database profile."

 

There are no small roles. Just small actors with ginormous wangs.

 

I used to coach my penis until it became unacceptable to put your hands on your players.

 

"but you only cover my penis when it gets frisked at the airport!"

Also, I'd like to point out that my penis might not be as big as his but it works just as hard and deserves some coverage as well.

 

I didn't suck, but I've never beaten the competition.

 

I'm a real stand-up guy.